The 366th Day

Happy Leap Day everyone. To anyone whose birthday might be today, you lucky duck, you're much younger than the rest of us.

Speaking of young and old. I turn 21 next week. How odd. In Mormon world this means nothing except that I am approaching old maidishness. (Yes, in Mormon world you're an old maid at 23. Or at least it seems that way).

I think 21 is going to be a much better age for me than 20 was. I have a feeling good though perhaps less dynamic things are going to happen in the coming year. And I'm alright with that.

Work was deathly slow today, so I started searching for a new show or movie to get interested in online, and I stumbled across Gossip Girl. I bought the first book in the series when I was in high school but then never read it. I don't think I would have enjoyed the books as much, but I'm really enjoying the show. It's completely soap opera-ish, sort of in the vein of One Tree Hill but less weird. At the moment though it's serving as a good distraction from my own troubles.

Unless I spend the remainder of the evening watching that, I might switch it out for La Vie En Rose, which I picked up at Blockbuster a couple days ago. I've heard great things about this movie, and it'll be a good chance to brush up on my French a bit.

So anyway, off to more couch potato-ness.

Happines causes happiness causes happiness causes happiness

Alright. My mom just had me watch The Secret. I had a therapist over a year ago who told me to watch this and I never did, mostly because it wasn't available to me at the time, and once it was, I'd heard it was super corny so had no interest.

Alas! It is super corny. However! It's also very interesting and sort of builds on a lot of the things I think already - mainly that our thoughts create our world and that what we think is what we do/become. When we focus on the negative, more negativity flows our way. When things feel crappy, it seems they always have been and always will be and so things generally are. But when we feel happy, we focus on things that are good and feel nothing is out of our reach, and so those good things come to us because we prepare for them, reach for them, and are open to receiving them.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is that I'm going to give this whole asking the universe or "ordering from the universal catalog" thing a try. And I'm going to try to do it without any apprehension or irony. We'll see how it goes.

Other than that today was... alright actually. I had an appointment with my therapist and when I left I felt a lot more at peace with things. I think everyone needs a therapist. I'm pretty sure the state of the world would be at least 15 times better if everyone did.

And no, you don't have to be a nutcase to have one. I'm not. Far as I know.... :P

Plus and minus

Through the entirety of Project Runway Season 4, I have hated on Rami time and time again. But even I have to admit, I'm glad he made it to Bryant Park instead of Chris. Using human hair for clothing - while I admit it looked chic - is just... gross...

I'm a little nervous for my boy Christian, but I'm really excited to see what he and Jillian will be pulling out on the runway.

And I have a major girl crush on Heidi Klum. Seriously.

On the topic of me (that's what you're all here for right?), depression = two thumbs down. And rain to top it off is just miserable. I promise I'll get less whiny as time goes on. It feels like an eternity since Saturday and yet it's only been 4 days. I said Monday or Tuesday that I just have to take it one day at a time, and my mom responded, "And probably even an hour at a time more often." So true. Well, there's an hour left of today and I think I'll try to sleep through it and a few of tomorrow's hours as well.

I am thankful for sleep, for the increasing hours of daylight in the day and that our elliptical machine is set up so I can run on it while watching the fabulosity that is Project Runway.

With that, goodnight.

Pianos, bells and whispered voices

Tonight I've listened to a couple of tracks by a band called Au Revoir Simone. I swear I've heard of them before so I'm really surprised this is the first listen I've had. They remind me of Azure Ray/Maria Taylor. It's really lovely. Anyway, if anyone has more of their music (I have two tracks only), maybe you'd be up for a trade or a pass along?

I feel... so so today. Mostly I just miss Brandon like crazy. Sigh.

I'm going to watch a movie.

Distractions

I don't know if it's post Valentine's day blues or something in the air, but apparently this weekend 'twas the season to be dumped by those of us at work, or at least those close to us. Shonna's daughter who is almost scarily similar to me in personality had her boyfriend leave her for another girl he'd been seeing for a little while already. Taryn's boyfriend apparently broke it off with her, and of course there is me. Shonna and my mom were full of advice for us, which was nice. Taryn and I joked we should get some comfort food and movies in there.

In all seriousness though it's been a rough few days, for me as well as these other girls. Life is just too complicated sometimes. I want things to be simple for a while. I'm staying far far away from the dating scene. It's not worth the heartbreak right now. That and I am not even close to being over this. I just want to focus on church and school and work for a little while.

I must say, I've really come to appreciate my friends and my family even more this past weekend. Everyone has been really supportive, and I appreciate that more than they can probably even know.

Anyway, drama drama drama right?

To keep my mind off things I've been playing Sims 2: Castaway on the DS. I love it. It fulfills my need for plot as well as my love for all things Sim related in one sweet little game.

Oh, and in the vein of movies:

1) Dancer in the Dark is by far the saddest movie I have ever seen in my entire life. And this includes Pan's Labyrinth, at the end of which I was sobbing. However, it is also deeply moving and positive in it's example to mankind. The music and cinematography are well done and add a surreal yet horrific element to the things happening. In that way it reminds me of the literary genre magical realism. I have to stop thinking about this movie though. I'll end up in tears again. So on to

2) Ratatouille. Alright, I know I'm behind the times. I didn't get to see this in the theaters and I only just got to watch it while I was in California, but I seriously loved this movie. I mean I've liked some Pixar movies in the past, but I love love love this movie. So much of it looks real! And delicious! The story line is cute and plays up on my love of all things miniature. And of course all the characters are enjoyable and creative. Well done Disney and Pixar. Well done!

3) For my birthday Brandon gave me a DVD called Rivers and Tides about the sculptor Andy Goldsworthy. The documentary was artistic in its plot, cinematography, and most certainly it's music. And that's not even talking about Goldsworthy's art! The way he connects to the earth is intriguing and almost magical. Highly recommended if you even remotely enjoy documentaries.

Well with that little update, I think I'm off. Until next time friends.

Break ups and break downs

Life has a way of pulling the rug out from under my feet. Sometimes I simply lose my balance, sometimes I fall down, and sometimes I smack my head on the concrete.

This weekend I am in the third of those categories.

I came home from rainy California two days early, unexpectedly and confusedly single.

All I can do is try to stay positive and continue moving forward. Though honestly I just want to curl up in my bed in a puddle of tears, never to be seen again.

Sometimes there are things I just don't understand.

The final countdown

I am the world's worst packer. It's almost 10 and I'm barely finishing my laundry now. Yahoooo!

So Brandie, who I work with, is also flying to California tomorrow, but she is leaving on a cruise to Mexico. She will also be gone for 10 days. So basically we are taking the exact same days off. And ironically, we were the two closing the shop tonight. Every 5 minutes one of us would yell out either "what?? It's only -:--?? This afternoon will never end!" or else "Hey, guess what!? We're leaving tomorrow!" The 3 to 6 o'clock stretch was basically an eternity.

But! It is finally almost here! In 13 hours I will be in the car with Brandon off to whatever he decides to show me first. I can't wait!

Anyway, I'd better be off to finish packing.

I probably won't have time/access to post anything while I'm gone. But if I get a chance, I'll send a quickie of an update.

Have an excellent 10 days my friends!

Listen to good music, read good books, see good movies.

Oh, and P.S. Project Runway update - Christian and Jillian both made it to the final three. Thank heavens. I cannot wait to see what they come up with. This might be the best PR season finale yet!

Central Coast Cali, here I come! (Please don't rain on me) countdown: 12.5 hours. Yessssssss

Professor Layton and the never ending trial of my patience

Sorry about the cussing, but ahahaha, I can't stop laughing over this comic! Because even though I'm enjoying playing this game, this is sooo truuuue. Hahaha

It has been a wonderful Valentine's Day thus far. Brandon is clever and wonderful. Every couple of hours I get an email with a message and a photo attached. The photo is of random areas or things around his house, and hidden within the photo is a heart. My job is to find the heart. This was the hardest one so far. You'll have to make it bigger to find it.

Today is my one day of the year to enjoy really terrible yet some how delicious store brand sugar cookies covered in sprinkles. Every year I look forward to these. I generally only eat them on either Valentine's Day or St. Patrick's Day. Once in a while I'll buy the flag ones on the 4th of July. They're crunchy and sweet and turn my fingers pink. Yum yum.

I'm going to start my packing tonight between watching the latest Tivo'd episode of Project Runway and solving riddles with the help of Professor Layton, Luke and their horrid British accents. Good times!

Happy Valentine's Day!

100,000 Thoughts

Quirky music suggestion of the day: Tap Tap. Great, wacky Brit pop.

Today was a bit weird. I could not sleep to save my life last night. My mind was just wandering all over the place and my stomach hurt a bit. Being tired had me a little off kilter today I suppose. Overall I was in a good mood though. And I got my arms waxed today haha. That sounds so weird, but let me just say, hair free is the way to be. I think I should become an esthetician. That would be fun.

Less than 72 hours until I'm in California. Thank goodness. I cannot wait to see Brandon!

Well I think I'll try to get some sleep now. I'm hoping for the best.

May you live every day of your life

I think maybe just maybe I am becoming a video game junkie.

Well, ok, that's an overstatement. Because I don't play them all the time. But I do like them a lot now and then. I bought a few Nintendo DS games tonight to take with me to California next week. I got this one mystery game I'm pretty excited about called Professor Layton and the Curious Village and a version of Sims 2. The mystery one is a series of brainteasers and such. Should be fun.

I cannot wait to leave on Saturday. I love love love traveling. I like the anticipation of it. The shopping, the packing, the driving, the flying, the meeting up, all of it. And then the fact that I get to just do nothing except whatever Brandon and I feel like doing for almost 10 days is fantastic. I love vacations!

I'm listening to A Hawk and a Hacksaw tonight. For anyone who likes Beirut, I really recommend them. They're kind of similar. And I think Zach Condon even helped on it. But its the drummer from Neutral Milk Hotel and a violinist and it's got that gypsy feel to it that's so fun to listen to.