Adventures, Anxiety and Animals

I woke up on the brink of an anxiety attack this morning and it hasn't subsided. It hasn't blossomed into the stomach wrenching, heart pounding, barely able to walk symptoms that usually occur, thankfully, but I'm still not feeling great. I haven't been able to pinpoint what I'm feeling anxious about exactly so it's been hard to fight.

However. Babyanimalz.com has helped significantly. Basically I want one of these:


Isn't it just squishy, fluffy, floppy, oh so adorably huggable?? I love its cute little arms and ears! aaaaah!

So I know I'm like 2 years behind on this, but my brother and I finally bought Zelda: Twilight Princess on the Wii and oh em gee I love it! I love slashing the wii-mote to beat bad guys up, and the tail spin thing I get to do as a wolf ROCKS! Heck, just being a wolf is awesome fun.

I think next on my list is Zelda: Wind Waker (from the Game Cube) and Boom Blox. Both look very entertaining.

Distractions

I don't know if it's post Valentine's day blues or something in the air, but apparently this weekend 'twas the season to be dumped by those of us at work, or at least those close to us. Shonna's daughter who is almost scarily similar to me in personality had her boyfriend leave her for another girl he'd been seeing for a little while already. Taryn's boyfriend apparently broke it off with her, and of course there is me. Shonna and my mom were full of advice for us, which was nice. Taryn and I joked we should get some comfort food and movies in there.

In all seriousness though it's been a rough few days, for me as well as these other girls. Life is just too complicated sometimes. I want things to be simple for a while. I'm staying far far away from the dating scene. It's not worth the heartbreak right now. That and I am not even close to being over this. I just want to focus on church and school and work for a little while.

I must say, I've really come to appreciate my friends and my family even more this past weekend. Everyone has been really supportive, and I appreciate that more than they can probably even know.

Anyway, drama drama drama right?

To keep my mind off things I've been playing Sims 2: Castaway on the DS. I love it. It fulfills my need for plot as well as my love for all things Sim related in one sweet little game.

Oh, and in the vein of movies:

1) Dancer in the Dark is by far the saddest movie I have ever seen in my entire life. And this includes Pan's Labyrinth, at the end of which I was sobbing. However, it is also deeply moving and positive in it's example to mankind. The music and cinematography are well done and add a surreal yet horrific element to the things happening. In that way it reminds me of the literary genre magical realism. I have to stop thinking about this movie though. I'll end up in tears again. So on to

2) Ratatouille. Alright, I know I'm behind the times. I didn't get to see this in the theaters and I only just got to watch it while I was in California, but I seriously loved this movie. I mean I've liked some Pixar movies in the past, but I love love love this movie. So much of it looks real! And delicious! The story line is cute and plays up on my love of all things miniature. And of course all the characters are enjoyable and creative. Well done Disney and Pixar. Well done!

3) For my birthday Brandon gave me a DVD called Rivers and Tides about the sculptor Andy Goldsworthy. The documentary was artistic in its plot, cinematography, and most certainly it's music. And that's not even talking about Goldsworthy's art! The way he connects to the earth is intriguing and almost magical. Highly recommended if you even remotely enjoy documentaries.

Well with that little update, I think I'm off. Until next time friends.

Professor Layton and the never ending trial of my patience

Sorry about the cussing, but ahahaha, I can't stop laughing over this comic! Because even though I'm enjoying playing this game, this is sooo truuuue. Hahaha

It has been a wonderful Valentine's Day thus far. Brandon is clever and wonderful. Every couple of hours I get an email with a message and a photo attached. The photo is of random areas or things around his house, and hidden within the photo is a heart. My job is to find the heart. This was the hardest one so far. You'll have to make it bigger to find it.

Today is my one day of the year to enjoy really terrible yet some how delicious store brand sugar cookies covered in sprinkles. Every year I look forward to these. I generally only eat them on either Valentine's Day or St. Patrick's Day. Once in a while I'll buy the flag ones on the 4th of July. They're crunchy and sweet and turn my fingers pink. Yum yum.

I'm going to start my packing tonight between watching the latest Tivo'd episode of Project Runway and solving riddles with the help of Professor Layton, Luke and their horrid British accents. Good times!

Happy Valentine's Day!

May you live every day of your life

I think maybe just maybe I am becoming a video game junkie.

Well, ok, that's an overstatement. Because I don't play them all the time. But I do like them a lot now and then. I bought a few Nintendo DS games tonight to take with me to California next week. I got this one mystery game I'm pretty excited about called Professor Layton and the Curious Village and a version of Sims 2. The mystery one is a series of brainteasers and such. Should be fun.

I cannot wait to leave on Saturday. I love love love traveling. I like the anticipation of it. The shopping, the packing, the driving, the flying, the meeting up, all of it. And then the fact that I get to just do nothing except whatever Brandon and I feel like doing for almost 10 days is fantastic. I love vacations!

I'm listening to A Hawk and a Hacksaw tonight. For anyone who likes Beirut, I really recommend them. They're kind of similar. And I think Zach Condon even helped on it. But its the drummer from Neutral Milk Hotel and a violinist and it's got that gypsy feel to it that's so fun to listen to.

I want to dream in 50,000 colors when I'm dead

I have been waxing nostalgic about the most random things tonight! I started thinking about them as I cut my bangs and then I just started recalling one odd item after another. In conjunction with listening to Snakes Say Hisss! it managed to get me out of my annoyed mood and into one that's a bit silly. So here are some of the things I thought about:

This would be the fire hydrant plant holder I got for my 16th birthday. I walked into English and there it was, sitting on my desk. Thank you Danual. I still love it.

Also around one of my birthdays, last March I was in Utah visiting Katy and we stopped by the Moore's house in Salt Lake one night. And on the wall was a poster I think John-Ross had put up. It was a cheap copy of Vincent VanGogh's Starry Night, and on it in big white letters were the words "I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ART." And it so absolutely summed up my feelings on that painting and the people who claim it as their "favorite painting ever" that I just had to laugh.

I remembered also a video game I used to play on the computer. It was called The Neverhood. And I guess it has a bit of a cult following nowadays. It was all done with claymation. The game was a bit like Myst but sooo much quirkier and better. And the music in it was amazing.

Does anyone remember the movie Grandpa's Magical Toy Shop? or King Cole's Party? or perhaps Wee Sing Together (also known as Sally's Birthday Party)? These were all the Wee Sing movies my grandma used to have us watch. They were all so.... tacky haha. It was like Barney, but trippier. And more annoying. But we watched them all time. Those were good times. Especially Grandpa's Magical Toy Shop, with Punchanello.

And one that's a lot more recent: I was talking about mushrooms to Brandon and the fact that I've really only tried the common mushrooms you can get at a grocery store. And he piped up with "Oh you mean the Agaricus Bisporus?" And I just started laughing so hard. Probably one of the things I love the most about Brandon is that he knows the Latin names for a ton of different mushrooms. And he's been to fungus fairs. I love it. Oh my gosh, I love it!

Life is all about enjoying the little things. And boy do I. There are so many small moments in life that are hilarious and random and I just love every one of them.

Hansel and Gretel meet Soylent Green

I had the weirdest dream last night. It was almost exactly like Hansel and Gretel. Which is weird because I haven't exactly thought about that story in... years?

Anyway, I was wandering through the forest with someone else and we were lost. We came upon a clearing that had very green grass and tall pine trees surrounding it. In the center was a rather large sized, restaurant looking building made entirely out of very bright colored candy. And next to the building were tables, also made out of candy, with strange looking adults sitting at them. The people had oddly large, vacant eyes and they were eating hamburgers. And we knew instinctively that the hamburgers were made from ground up humans.

Somehow we ended up inside the building with a large group of other young people. There were two counselor type people at the front of the candy constructed room with clip boards. Our large group was doing something like calisthenics and the counselors were making sure we were doing everything right. We knew that if we did something wrong, our names would be taken to the big wigs upstairs, and we'd be next in line at the grinding machine, to be made into hamburgers. Needless to say I and my partner pushed the limits of the rules, but despite warnings, our names were never actually taken down and we realized none of us had ever actually seen someone made into hamburger. But we were still afraid. And the food they gave us to eat we knew for sure was made out of humans.

More happened, but that's all I can remember clearly.

How morbid though, eh? Nazi-type cannibalism within Hansel and Gretel. Very strange indeed.

The Age of Innocence is sadly at work, so instead I started Mrs. Dalloway tonight and will have to continue the other on Monday. But I'm enjoying Mrs. Dalloway so far. More than I did the last time I tried to read it actually. I think before I didn't have the focus for it, and Woolf's sentences are so long and complicated at times that between the beginning and end of one, I'd completely forgotten the original topic. This time though I like the sense of fluidity in it. The connectedness and yet the aloneness and the way everyone shares experiences and yet sees them separately, all at the same time. A teacher once said it's almost like it's happening in real-time.

I finished Crimson Skies today, haha. It's not very long. Well, that and I started it half way through because I picked up where I'd left off the last time I played it. This is maybe the second time I have ever finished a video game. Well other than Super Mario Bros maybe. But yeah. Kind of silly.

Also did some crocheting. I'm up to 6.5 plus another half I started and then my mom finished. I figured out today if I do double crochet stitches instead of just single, it actually goes way faster, so I'm going to try doing that from now on.

And in election news, Obama took Washington. Yay! The gap is closing and I have high hopes for him taking Clinton out. That would be good news.

I officially have less than a week until I am in California now. Poor B is sick as a dog this week. I really hope he feels better soon. I guess it's going around down there. No fun.

Well, that's my update. Off to bed. And I hope the human hamburgers are no where in the vicinity of tonight's dreams.

It's not a waste of time if you're enjoying yourself (my rationalization)

I haven't played video games in ages. But tonight I got the bug. The video game bug. So, I dug around in my brother's closet and fished out his old XBox games. Luckily he still had my favorite - Crimson Skies. It was so much fun to play for a while! I really wish I could play Mario 64. I think I'm going to ask my dad if I can have their old N64 and all the games. Ooo and the Legend of Zelda... I forgot... hah

I'm further in The Age of Innocence today. I'm starting to really like it. It could so far be described as a comedy of manners I think. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of it. If I continue to like it, I think I'll read The House of Mirth next. Also by Edith Wharton. I've heard The Age of Innocence called Wharton's "apology" after The House of Mirth. She must have been incredibly hard on New York society in that one if this is her apology!

Democratic caucuses are tomorrow in Washington State. Exciting. I'm really hoping for Obama. I found out today that the Democratic primary here means nothing. As in not a single one of the delegates is chosen through the primary. All of them are allocated through the caucuses. What a waste of ballots! Seems a little bait and switch if you ask me. People think they're doing something good and all they're doing is wasting a piece of paper by voting. Dumb.

The republicans allocate 49% of their delegates during the caucus, then 51% at the primary. That seems fair. And at least our ballots count for something! Sheesh.

Maybe tomorrow will give us a clearer picture of the Democratic race. I hope that picture doesn't include Hilary Clinton. Time will tell... I hope...