so much. so little.

Today, for some reason, I've had the urge to "blog." About a lot of things actually. I've been following the Middle East and North Africa somewhat closely - counting casualties, testing the waters on just where I stand politically, worrying about people getting electricity and water, crying with the wailing women at the Bahraini funerals. It's been an interesting ride. Libya has turned into a game of Risk with fatal consequences that I can't entirely agree with, though I can't entirely disagree with either (I feel akin to Turkey though I understand the UN's impetus). And as the revolution marches on, into Syria, I can't help but feel a fullness in my heart. Every one of these revolutions has started with throngs of people peacefully stating that No, we will no longer take this. Meet our demands of equality, dignity and accountability or step down.

After recounting to Adam my shock at the 10 people who have already died in the 6 days of protest in Syria, he said "people die in revolutions." It's true. And I, like the anti-government coalitions, consider them martyrs. I wish in many ways I could be there with them, offering my support.

Briefly, I considered what this meant for our country. It's interesting. I wondered how the Tea Party militias feel. If they consider themselves one in the same as these "Arabs," even though I would assume most of them think any muslim must be a terrorist (perhaps that is closed minded of me, but I can't help but agree with Ron Schiller.). I find the stance the Middle East and North Africans have taken so much more noble. Their decision to stand together in non-sectarianism and fight for equality among the people, not just one religious group, is so much more honorable than to fight for a Christian Constitution that alienates any and every other affiliation (full irony noted).

I went for a drive last Sunday, just to get out of the house for a moment. And as I headed down Provo's main drag, suddenly I saw, barreling down the street toward me, a three-wheeler (what else does one call a three wheeled "motorcycle"?) with a small trailer behind it. In the trailer was a stuffed gorilla probably about my size with his arms propped up on what looked like a shotgun that lay the width of the trailer, and waving in the wind behind him the tell-tale yellow flag with a serpent and the words "Don't tread on me." Shocked and awed, I glanced into my rear-view for a second look but he was too far gone to see much more.

These groups are something I cannot understand. How can Peter King (or the new McCarthy) target Muslims in an attempt to monitor their "radicalization" without even glancing at these militias and teabaggers who are focusing on voting on state guns and extending justifiable homicide to protecting unborn fetuses (i.e. legalizing the executions of abortion doctors)? It makes no sense.

I feel a lot of frustration with our government, yes - particularly with their desire to protect the Libyan people, but their complete disregard of Bahrainis simply because they could never say no to their golden child, the one who will SURELY keep them out of the nursing home when they're old, Saudi Arabia - but more than that, I'm so incredibly frustrated with Americans. Who are we? Why do we care more about the thought of slight radiation hitting the shores of California than the hundreds of thousands of people displaced, missing or dead from twin disasters? And WHY would we rather read about which cast member most recently hurt themselves in the accident riddled Spider Man musical than pay attention to what's going to happen in the next 6 months - namely the ungodly rise of oil prices as we approach (or hit) peak oil and battle the oil-powered juggernaut that is China?

The world is about to change. For the better or worse... well, it depends on your geographical location and your need for oil... but either way, it simply cannot sustain itself the way it is. I'm praying that THIS is real, and not science fiction. If it is, we could very well be heading toward something of a Utopia. If it isn't, well, I suggest we, as a people, start coming together and making some positive changes, perhaps with the example of so many civilians flooding squares, mosques and streets in peaceful shouts of equality, dignity and - most importantly - ACCOUNTABILITY!

Put it back in your pants Russia! Put it back. In your pants.

Russia is attacking Georgia. And while the Russian Prime Minister is in China for the Olympic opening ceremonies no less. Frightening to say the least. I mean maybe I just haven't been paying attention, but where was the lead up to this? Maybe we're all so busy worrying about Barack Obama claiming tire pressure will stop our energy crisis to notice conflict arising in other countries.

I think I'd like to move to Sweden now. Thanks.

Obama fo' yo' mama

Whaaat? You mean we might actually have a democratic nominee? After all this time? But I thought Hillary AND Barack were going to duke it out against McCain until November...

Seriously. It's about freaking time. Good. Ness.

Now can we please move on to the good debates? I've been waiting far too long!

Some active causes to consider

I've been considering today (thanks to all the headlines about the SF torch ceremony) whether to participate in this whole "boycott the Olympics" thing. On the one hand, I love the Olympics. Particularly the summer Olympics. On the other hand, there's that side note where China aided in the Darfur genocide and that little thing going on in Tibet... what's a girl to do? How does one boycott the Olympics anyway? Without actually going to China I mean. Someone answer me that.

Also on the topic of death and displacement, let's talk about Hurricane Katrina for a moment. Has anyone heard about The Pink Project? I'm highly confused about this thing. Brad Pitt and his cohorts have spent a TON of money putting together these pink solar powered lit up tent houses in the lower 9th ward with constellations around them that reflect the sky on the night Katrina hit (because obviously with all that hurricane weather the lower 9th ward could totally see the stars). My confusion is, wouldn't all that money be better spent on actual houses? Perhaps I'm missing the point, I don't know. I mean we all like a good monument to those who have died. Thousands of people travel to Pearl Harbor and Ground Zero every year, but... tent houses that are uninhabitable?

I don't get it. Someone explain. Please.

Alright, I am seriously ready to just sell everything I have and go to Africa to help all the little kids with AIDs (yes, I did watch Idol Gives Back, thank you very much). My heart just breaks for them. I can't imagine living without parents and having HIV. They're all so young and sweet and have nothing.

Sigh, new before-I-die checklist:
Provide clean water to someone who otherwise couldn't get any
Protect a child from Malaria
Work in an orphanage in India
Feed a hungry family
Decrease my contribution to global warming
Save a chunk of rain forest (will help previous by bucketloads)
Solve world poverty

P.S. Did you know becoming a vegetarian decreases global warming and contributes to ending poverty? Read about the environmental positives and the world hunger positive to becoming a vegetarian.

P.P.S. Did you know some biofuels, like ones made from corn, are actually increasing global warming because deforestation is taking place to make room for more corn crops? Yeah. I was surprised too. Read about it here.

Just some things to think about :)

Hansel and Gretel meet Soylent Green

I had the weirdest dream last night. It was almost exactly like Hansel and Gretel. Which is weird because I haven't exactly thought about that story in... years?

Anyway, I was wandering through the forest with someone else and we were lost. We came upon a clearing that had very green grass and tall pine trees surrounding it. In the center was a rather large sized, restaurant looking building made entirely out of very bright colored candy. And next to the building were tables, also made out of candy, with strange looking adults sitting at them. The people had oddly large, vacant eyes and they were eating hamburgers. And we knew instinctively that the hamburgers were made from ground up humans.

Somehow we ended up inside the building with a large group of other young people. There were two counselor type people at the front of the candy constructed room with clip boards. Our large group was doing something like calisthenics and the counselors were making sure we were doing everything right. We knew that if we did something wrong, our names would be taken to the big wigs upstairs, and we'd be next in line at the grinding machine, to be made into hamburgers. Needless to say I and my partner pushed the limits of the rules, but despite warnings, our names were never actually taken down and we realized none of us had ever actually seen someone made into hamburger. But we were still afraid. And the food they gave us to eat we knew for sure was made out of humans.

More happened, but that's all I can remember clearly.

How morbid though, eh? Nazi-type cannibalism within Hansel and Gretel. Very strange indeed.

The Age of Innocence is sadly at work, so instead I started Mrs. Dalloway tonight and will have to continue the other on Monday. But I'm enjoying Mrs. Dalloway so far. More than I did the last time I tried to read it actually. I think before I didn't have the focus for it, and Woolf's sentences are so long and complicated at times that between the beginning and end of one, I'd completely forgotten the original topic. This time though I like the sense of fluidity in it. The connectedness and yet the aloneness and the way everyone shares experiences and yet sees them separately, all at the same time. A teacher once said it's almost like it's happening in real-time.

I finished Crimson Skies today, haha. It's not very long. Well, that and I started it half way through because I picked up where I'd left off the last time I played it. This is maybe the second time I have ever finished a video game. Well other than Super Mario Bros maybe. But yeah. Kind of silly.

Also did some crocheting. I'm up to 6.5 plus another half I started and then my mom finished. I figured out today if I do double crochet stitches instead of just single, it actually goes way faster, so I'm going to try doing that from now on.

And in election news, Obama took Washington. Yay! The gap is closing and I have high hopes for him taking Clinton out. That would be good news.

I officially have less than a week until I am in California now. Poor B is sick as a dog this week. I really hope he feels better soon. I guess it's going around down there. No fun.

Well, that's my update. Off to bed. And I hope the human hamburgers are no where in the vicinity of tonight's dreams.

It's not a waste of time if you're enjoying yourself (my rationalization)

I haven't played video games in ages. But tonight I got the bug. The video game bug. So, I dug around in my brother's closet and fished out his old XBox games. Luckily he still had my favorite - Crimson Skies. It was so much fun to play for a while! I really wish I could play Mario 64. I think I'm going to ask my dad if I can have their old N64 and all the games. Ooo and the Legend of Zelda... I forgot... hah

I'm further in The Age of Innocence today. I'm starting to really like it. It could so far be described as a comedy of manners I think. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of it. If I continue to like it, I think I'll read The House of Mirth next. Also by Edith Wharton. I've heard The Age of Innocence called Wharton's "apology" after The House of Mirth. She must have been incredibly hard on New York society in that one if this is her apology!

Democratic caucuses are tomorrow in Washington State. Exciting. I'm really hoping for Obama. I found out today that the Democratic primary here means nothing. As in not a single one of the delegates is chosen through the primary. All of them are allocated through the caucuses. What a waste of ballots! Seems a little bait and switch if you ask me. People think they're doing something good and all they're doing is wasting a piece of paper by voting. Dumb.

The republicans allocate 49% of their delegates during the caucus, then 51% at the primary. That seems fair. And at least our ballots count for something! Sheesh.

Maybe tomorrow will give us a clearer picture of the Democratic race. I hope that picture doesn't include Hilary Clinton. Time will tell... I hope...

The rich get richer and the poor get - children

The stimulus bill passed the Senate! Yeeeessssss! What does this mean? This means that because I made between $3,000 and $75,000 last year, I will in fact be getting a $300-$600 rebate check in the mail some time after April.

Aaah, I can't wait. (Says the girl who's been complaining about the $3.1 trillion Bush's administration asked for last week for the 2008 budget. Hah)

Romney is out. It was bound to happen after Tuesday's turn out. Which means I will now be focusing intently on the Democratic primaries. I wish I could go see Obama speak in Seattle tomorrow, but alas and alack, I have work.

I finished The Great Gatsby today. Loved it. I like the symbolism, and I feel there is a lot to be taken from it about the wealth worship and immorality that is explicit in today's society. I've just started The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton. I'm not far enough into it to say how I feel, but as always I'm hoping for the best.

Days until California: 9

Love and Mathematics

Smoked Gouda: Okish. It was cheese. It tasted a little like ham mixed with cheese.

Republican Race: Ick. I may end up voting for a Dem. Sigh.

The fact that I have Brandon obsessing over the very same pattern of triangles I've obsessed over for about 6 years: Hilarious. Draw a square, now put an X through it (connecting the corners) and then draw a triangle on each of the four sides of the square. Now try to trace that shape without picking up your pencil or retracing any of the lines. Yeah, it's impossible. And I've been trying to come up with either a way that it is possible or a reason, mathematically, why it is not possible, since I was probably about 12 years old.

The Tower of Hanoi: Interesting. I figured out the pattern and I've been amusing myself with it for the past fifteen minutes. I haven't tried past 5 discs.

The Great Gatsby: Loving it. I started it earlier today and I'm nearly finished. I'd forgotten how much I love hearing about the Jazz Age. And I like Fitzgerald's tone.

Crochet squares completed: 5.5

Days until I leave for California: 10

Biggest geek ever

Ok, really, this is getting ridiculous. I've been refreshing CNN.com all afternoon just waiting for the voting results to come in. My idea of a great night tonight is getting some snacks and hunkering down to watch CNN bring me the results in real time!

I'm a bit tiffed about the McCain/Huckabee scandal in West Viriginia because lets face it, anyone who thinks they're going to be able to support the war in Iraq without the IRS collecting our taxes is a little nuts, and I don't think he's got even a small chance of winning the primary or, if by a miracle he does, the national vote. So to have Huckabee still in the race is a joke and obviously a ploy with McCain to split the GOP votes and keep Romney from winning. Dirty dirty politics.

Aaaaagh, I am completely obsessed! This is worse than in 8th grade when I made my mom swear she'd wake me up in the middle of the night to tell me who'd won the 2000 Presidential election (she did not, however, wake me up, because we didn't know who was president for... how many months? Thanks Al Gore...)

Ok, on a completely different topic, I have been told that my gateway cheese should be Smoked Gouda. I'm going to give it a try tonight.

Alright, well, that's enough rambling from me. I might post a rant later when I hear Romney hasn't won and psycho McCain is the GOP front runner... or heaven forbid Huckabee...

I think I'm probably going to end up voting for Obama after all . Sigh.

Death and taxes minus the death part

I voted! Well, tomorrow once I've got it stamped and in the mail I will officially have voted I suppose, but the important thing is that I was able to vote. I didn't know if I'd registered in time to even get an absentee ballot, but I did! And I got it today! I've filled it out and it's ready to be sent. The great thing about not being registered to a party is that I could choose which ballot to vote from. I feel so empowered haha!

Tomorrow is Super Tuesday. I hope all of you in states where primaries are taking place will find a local polling station and voice your opinion for either the Democrats or the Republicans.

Also in a spirit of supporting my government (or maybe just feeling screwed by them, either way) I filed my tax return today. I'll at least be getting some money back, though a small amount in comparison to what I paid. Buuut I guess that's the price of living in America.

Go America. Wooh. Yeah.

Polar opposites

I didn't watch the Super Bowl, no.

I did however watch a rerun of the California Democratic debate. Also I found out the Washington Primaries are actually Open, which means even though I'm registered to "no party" I could potentially vote for a candidate from any party. I won't be in Washington that day though, so it doesn't help much. Sigh.

I think I've decided that if it comes down to McCain and Clinton, I'm just not voting. I hate them both. If it comes down to Obama and McCain, Obama it is. If it comes down to Romney and anyone else, Romney it is. I'm really hoping Romney makes it. I wish Tuesday was over already.

I feel out of sorts today to be perfectly honest. I'm worried about too many things that I just shouldn't be worrying about.

I did enjoy Sunday School today though. Brother Young is an awesome teacher. He's interactive and funny, but most of all, he knows his stuff. He's a professional seminary teacher so he knows a lot about the history as well as the doctrine of the Gospel. I feel like I learn a ton every week.

Of course the rest of church was dedicated to President Hinckley. It's been really great learning more about him the past few days. I watched his funeral yesterday. He was such a great man and I just see he and his wife as such a wonderful example. I love that one of their children said Sister Hinckley "just thought he was the sun, the moon and the stars." Adorable. I hope I achieve something that perfect and joyous in my lifetime.

There really are some wonderful people in this world.

Addendum (11:38 pm) - I just want to say that there is no better feeling in the entire world than peace that comes from the Lord. There is absolutely nothing like it.

Map jumping

Watching Finding Nemo makes me want to be back in Australia.

True story.

Current music: Avey Tare and Kria Brekkan - Pullhair Rubeye. This album was recorded as a lovely folk album by Avey Tare of Animal Collective and Kria Brekkan formerly of Mum. They reversed the entire album before releasing it. I have it both forward and backward and love it both ways. It's so crazy amazing.

I've been reading the full transcript of the latest Democratic debate today. I'm so undecided it's not even funny.

I'll be reading the Republican one tomorrow probably.

All I know is that John McCain seems bi-polar, Hilary is scary, Obama is a calmer version of Hilary and Romney changed his mind on abortion. So we'll just have to wait and see where I land on that whole dilemma. Because my vote totally counts in this blue state.

And here's the thing, other than higher taxes for rich people (which is going to happen anyway once Bush's tax cut expires), I can't see yet why we wouldn't want universal health care... but maybe I'm just missing something. Maybe I should move to Sweden.

I'm going to be in California in 15 days! I don't even care if it rains on me now, I'm just really excited to see Brandon.