My own mark, my own change

I love General Conference. I thoroughly enjoyed every single talk given in this afternoon's session. Jeffrey R. Holland's was particularly wonderful. I missed both of the Saturday sessions, but I'm hoping to either read them or watch them later. I love this church. There's such a peace and light about those who truly serve the Lord that I haven't found in anyone else. There's such deep love from our leaders and an awareness of the things that are happening in the world today. I just love it so much!

I've been thinking a lot lately about how to "lose my life" in service so that I may "find it." I really really want to go abroad for a couple of months or so and work with people. I'd love to go to India. I've been looking into ways to do it through the church, but I haven't found a way yet. It seems that there are enough members worldwide in conjunction with the missionaries that most of their humanitarian aid projects are done by locals. Which is really wonderful. It just means I'll need to find some other avenue I think.

But before I get to that (because it will probably be quite a while before I've saved up enough money to go for a month or two), I'm looking into things I can do locally and in my spare time now. I found a book called Knitting for Peace that is full of knitting projects that can be donated to different organizations. My favorite is a swirly looking cap for newborns. Warm Up America is also listed in there. So I'm going to focus on that for a bit I think, as well as doing some local restoration through EarthCorps perhaps. I just want to get involved! Make a difference!

Like some of the Young Women leaders said today, each of us can change the world. I want to make my contribution.

A week... or so's... worth of accomplishments

I finished The Book of Mormon. Finally. 2 weeks and 2 days from start to finish. It's been really neat. I certainly have felt the difference in my life. An added peace. It has of course brought me to a better understanding of my own shortcomings, but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing :)

I'm going to read The Infinite Atonement next I think. Though I'll probably take my time with that, just reading a little each day. And of course I'll continue my scripture study, just not in such a ravenous way hah.

In other news I managed to finish 7 more squares for Warm Up America in the past week. I have also caught up at work and have a routine down finally. And the whole being a vegetarian thing is going pretty well, minus the whole family ganging up on me and trying to make me miss meat (which I don't) thing. I'm actually really enjoying the fact that I'm forced to think up other things to eat. It's making me more creative. So, 4 days down, another 26 or even a lifetime to go. I guess we'll see what happens!

Blaaaaaah

Sorry it's been a few days. I've been... stressed, depressed, dressed, and messed, but not caressed.

My car. Sucks. Well, it did. $775 ago. Now it had better be freaking awesome because I'm not dropping another grand on it!

Work has been a little insane the past few days. Well it was today too, but now that we've rearranged and reorganized the office it feels a lot better. I feel a lot better. I have a lot more work now, but I'm slowly but surely learning it all and getting faster at it. That being said, I've already worked 4 hours of overtime this week. Awesome.

I don't know why, but Alma is going SO SLOW. I am having the worst time getting through it. Which is weird because it's usually one of my favorite books.

I dunno, life is a little bit blah right now. I'm feeling a teensy bit annoyed with myself I guess. But whatever. School (French) starts soon. That'll double my stress. Yay. But at least summer is coming and it's getting warmer.

A quick and meaningful read

I skipped out on church today mainly because I didn't get to sleep until about 3:30 in the morning, but I did do some scripture reading.

Originally my goal was to read the entire Book of Mormon in a week. I started Monday listening to the Book of Mormon on CD at work. When I had particular trouble understanding something, I'd pull up the online version at lds.org to make sure I was getting everything. Then at home it was just my regular scriptures. In one full week I've managed to get to Alma 12. I'm hoping to get to Alma 15 or 20 by tonight and through the rest of Alma tomorrow. What I'm getting at is that it's going to take me more like a week and a half to two weeks, but even so, it's been pretty profound so far.

Generally I skip from book to book in my daily studies rather than reading in order. But reading in order in such a short amount of time has given me a much better understanding of how all the peoples changed, worked together or separated. My time line is much more cohesive. I think so far Jacob has been my favorite.

It's a good feeling being excited to read the scriptures. They're really wonderful and can give such a sense of comfort and a reminder of our own duties. They're humbling yet uplifting all at the same time. I love this church, this gospel and these scriptures.

Heppy Berthdey

Well, by far the best Happy Birthday I've gotten so far is from one Ben Paris as follows:



hahaha

As far as presents go, I got a new set of scriptures from my parents! I'm actually really pleased with this gift. My mom noticed a few weeks ago that my old scriptures, which I got at my baptism on my 8th birthday (literally 13 years ago today), were falling apart. So for my 21st birthday, I got new ones. I'm actually really excited to go through these ones and mark my favorites and all that jazz. Can I say jazz when I'm talking about scriptures? Hmm

Anyway, it's been a good day. I love my friends. I love my family. My life is coming together fiiiinally and I'm pretty darn happy. Yay birthdays!

Sparks

The count down to 21 is definitely underway. I feel old.

Some good things happened today. Some very good things indeed. There is a possibility that I might get called to teach the Young Single Adult Sunday School Class sometime soon. We don't have one set up yet but with all the boys waiting to leave on their missions and the people we'll have home for summer in a few months, my bishop wants to set one up. He mentioned having me and another person teach it.

Can I just say I'd be really excited to do that? Because I would. That would be awesome. I honestly love church. Particularly my ward. I don't care how much of a dork that makes me.

Ups and downs, bigs and littles, longs and shorts

I feel so annoyed today. My word.

And I am taking it out as a grammar Nazi! It really bothers me when people write "feelin" and "doin" and "goin" and all other -ing words without the -g. It sounds so uneducated. Also, it bothers me when people write "then" instead of "than." Oh man and I saw someone spell Jamaica as Jamacia over and over and over the other day. It just never ends. What is wrong with our schools??

Sigh.

So anyway. Stake conference today. We had one session instead of two so I had to park a block away at a different church because there was no parking to be found. Elder Nelson was supposed to come but he got a new assignment at the last minute so our Area Seventy spoke instead. The meeting was pretty good. It focused on missionary work mostly. Being a good example. That kind of thing.

I made peanut butter heath bar cookies for my family this afternoon. They are yummy.

Man I wish I was in California right now. Sadly I'm going to have to wait another 138.5 hours. At least it's relatively soon now. Then it's 9 days of vacation. Aaah.

Polar opposites

I didn't watch the Super Bowl, no.

I did however watch a rerun of the California Democratic debate. Also I found out the Washington Primaries are actually Open, which means even though I'm registered to "no party" I could potentially vote for a candidate from any party. I won't be in Washington that day though, so it doesn't help much. Sigh.

I think I've decided that if it comes down to McCain and Clinton, I'm just not voting. I hate them both. If it comes down to Obama and McCain, Obama it is. If it comes down to Romney and anyone else, Romney it is. I'm really hoping Romney makes it. I wish Tuesday was over already.

I feel out of sorts today to be perfectly honest. I'm worried about too many things that I just shouldn't be worrying about.

I did enjoy Sunday School today though. Brother Young is an awesome teacher. He's interactive and funny, but most of all, he knows his stuff. He's a professional seminary teacher so he knows a lot about the history as well as the doctrine of the Gospel. I feel like I learn a ton every week.

Of course the rest of church was dedicated to President Hinckley. It's been really great learning more about him the past few days. I watched his funeral yesterday. He was such a great man and I just see he and his wife as such a wonderful example. I love that one of their children said Sister Hinckley "just thought he was the sun, the moon and the stars." Adorable. I hope I achieve something that perfect and joyous in my lifetime.

There really are some wonderful people in this world.

Addendum (11:38 pm) - I just want to say that there is no better feeling in the entire world than peace that comes from the Lord. There is absolutely nothing like it.

President Hinckley

Oh my. I just got word President Hinckley has passed away. It was about an hour ago. He was an amazing man and he's finally back with his wonderful wife. He'll be greatly missed.

Fo-tah-graf-ee

Well, the crocheting has begun! My Relief Society is doing a service project where we knit or crochet 9"x 7" squares that will be sewn into blankets for "Warming up America" or something like that. So my mom taught me tonight how to crochet. I'm pretty excited. I think I'll do an afghan after we've got enough squares done. I'm surprised at how easy it is! I got this swatch done in about two hours (I started off very slow). I'm quite enjoying myself!

It has thankfully warmed up a bit here. But sadly that is at the expense of the sun. It was very rainy today. I could barely see to the other side of the lake. I kind of loved it though hah.

Someone recently told a story about giving their young child (or maybe their parents had given them as a young child) a camera. Mentioning how neat it is to see what children take pictures of and what things look like from their perspective.

So when Brock wanted to play with my camera the other night, I decided to just let him do it. At first he just liked that pushing the button made the flash go, but he soon figured out that if he pointed it at something, a picture of that thing would show up on the screen in the back. Then he figured out that if he went up to something and pointed the camera at that thing, then pressed the button, the thing he wanted to take the picture of would show up on the back of the camera. Hah!

I left the room for a few minutes and came back in and he was walking up to the curtains and taking pics, to the tv, to the lamps.

Kids are just so smart. I mean he's not even 2 and he's figured out how to take pictures. He even tried to take pictures of my mom, of Tod, he got a couple of me. I love watching children learn and grow, it's just an amazing thing! Being an older sister is really fun sometimes!

Jumping ship

Seriously, if I have to deal with any more death this year, I'm going to build a cabin in the woods somewhere, never to be seen or heard from again.

Heath Ledger died today of a possible drug overdose. None of us knew him personally (that I know of), but it adds to the tragedy that has been recurrent this month. About three weeks ago, my coworker's mother was found dead in her home. They still don't know the cause of death - though they suspect drug overdose - which has been hard for their family in the grieving process. It would be hard to move on with unknowns like that.

Last Wednesday I attended the memorial service of a friend of mine who was slain by her husband a little over two weeks ago. It's been hard dealing with this death because I know her family very well (I dated her younger brother in high school and grew up in the same ward as them) and knowing they were now missing a beloved sister, daughter, and mother compounded my own grief over her loss. Kristy was intelligent, beautiful, happy, and knew how to bring out the best in other people. She was one of the first people I visited when I moved to BYU after high school. I looked up to her and really hoped to be as good, outgoing, and happy as her some day.

One of the comforts I've had in this, and that I know her family has had as well as they deal with this trial, is that if any person could be spiritually prepared for something like this to happen, Kristy was.

I pray for her family daily, especially her two little boys, who are now without a mother or a father. It's heartbreaking, but she lived a good life and I know for a fact that there are thousands of people who have been touched by Kristy's presence in their lives.

It's been hard to understand the why's in these situations, particularly because they've all been such unnatural deaths, and there have been others, though more distanced from myself, but I've also learned a lot about the grieving process and what happens to us when we die. At Kristy's memorial, the focus was on living an exemplary life, like the one Kristy lived, and knowing that our life is not over when we die. We simply exit one room and enter another, equally or more full of loved ones and friends than the one we just left.

I'm so thankful for the Gospel and the knowledge I've been given in this life. I'm grateful for the Plan of Salvation and the guides and examples we've been given to find our way back to our Heavenly Father. It's hard to lose a loved one, but it's comforting to know we will see them again. I'm so thankful for that.

Religiosity

I have the weirdest family. Well, ok. I'm sure many people say that. But my grandma, her sister and her sister's daughters all claim to be able to talk to angels and get revelation for other people. And for money.

This disturbs me.

And they all came over for dinner tonight. Fun.

Anyway, in Sunday school today Brother Young's son, who is a professional organ player (as in he went to school to be an Organ player. And has at least a masters in it. And is a concert organist for a living) played the opening hymn, and Sister Freitas, who wears a hat every Sunday and today was sporting a leopard print brimmed cap, conducted. Let me just say, it was the rockinest opening hymn I've ever heard at an LDS church. I loved it!

Oh, and I learned that the middle eastern peoples mostly are of the lineage of Ishmael. I had no idea!

I love going to church.