Tuesday, September 9, 2008

places I'd rather be

I think about the last frame in this webcomic almost daily. I find it heartwarming and full of hope.

I'm not really in my usual chipper state these days. I rotate between anxiety, anger and depression. I am not in San Diego. And I'm missing a few key people greatly.

The bright spot in my life is that I'm moving in less than two weeks to Utah. I leave the 20th and should arrive the afternoon of the 21st if my dad drives with me. If he doesn't I'll make the trip in one shot. This wasn't part of my original plan but current life necessitates it. And at least I'll be there in time for Sego.

Sigh. I just have to make it through the next two weeks then hopefully things will start looking up again.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Not a shopping blog, Ross.

Fall is here. Tonight was crispy as I took Avery home. I said goodbye to her. It's probably the last I'll see her at least until Christmas (assuming I come home for that, if not, it might be a year). We chatted all evening while I began the dejunking process. I have five garbage bags of old letters, photos, mix cds, clothes, and just plain garbage - anything with a negative conotation really. I'm ready to let go of the baggage.

If need be, I could have my entire room packed into my car by the end of tomorrow. I can't tell if this makes me feel better or worse. Or maybe just the same. Lighter though. That, for sure.

I'm anxious about applying for schools. I'm worried about saving up enough money to support myself without any help from my parents. I'm panicking about finishing my Book of Mormon class. I'm nervous about all the changes happening and overanalyzing even the simplest things. But even so, I'm happy I'm finally moving forward. I'm tired of living someone else's idea of my life. I'd like to practice being me the way I see myself.

Whatever that means.

San Diego in 7 days. It's going to be so fun. And a welcome break from my worries. After that, it's just a matter of being patient until my move. I hope I can make it.