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So the whole personality type thing has gotten a bit out of control. That being said, I really like ISTP's. That being said, I'm ridiculously happy (Kristi said glowing. But that's subjective).

I've been awake most of the night (morning) coughing, but even so, it's been a lovely past ten hours.

I love a lot of people in Utah (you most of all, C). I love a lot of people all over the world. Being able to take care of a few of them makes my heart soar. Every time I say or text the L word to one of my girlies I get a little giddy and light. It's good to have people to count on, people to love, people who expect good from me. It keeps life worth living.

So there you have it. Just a little bit of fluffy goodness. Now back to bed. Good night (morning).

What in the woooorld?

I've had a surge of anonymous comments on blogs I posted over a year ago. And a lot of them range from mildly to moderately critical. Who is taking a random girl on the internet so SERIOUSLY? Blogs are for rambling about junk no one actually cares about. MIRite?

I guess I should be glad people are reading though... hmmm.

I'll love you on your birthday, I'll love you better than them.

Alright. So. I slept from 2 to 7 this afternoon/evening. Ridiculous. And my real problem is that it's now 11:46 and I'd rather be sleeping than sitting up alone in my house, but I'm just not tired.

I've been on another kick of listening to all female artists. Laura Veirs, St. Vincent, El Perro Del Mar, The Bird and the Bee, Inara George, The Blow, Eisley, Psapp (mostly female), etc.

I also have to admit, I fiiiinally got around to listening to She & Him. And I wasn't all that impressed. I guess I was hoping for something closer to M. Ward. I like Zooey's voice I guess, it just... wasn't my cup of tea. Maybe I'll change my mind. I don't know.

The new Bird and the Bee album, Ray Guns Are Not Just the Future, however, is lovely! I've had songs from the album stuck in my head every day for a week (today was mainly Diamond Dave). Love Letter to Japan reminds me a lot of a Spice Girls song. But mellower. And thus, I love it. I liked Polite Dance Song on the ep, and hearing it on the album hasn't lessened my love. There's a good chance I'll get tired of the poppiness of this album just like I did on Inara's past albums, but for now, I'm happy obsessing.

March 4th 2009

22.

best. birthday. ever.

I still wear my purple coat.

Sometimes I really miss people who don't exist any more.

Ordinary Super Powers

At night, when I can't sleep because my thoughts are wandering, I focus on really specific things in order to quiet my mind. I'm sure that's common enough among people, but let me tell you the real part: The things I focus on? Super powers. What super powers I'd have, what caveats would come with them, and how I'd use them to change my life. Now, I'm not talking about flying or being invisible. I'm talking about "realistic" super powers..... whatever that means.

Like, I guess generally they're really useful super powers but just for me and my immediate surroundings. Lately, for instance, I fall asleep thinking about having the ability to move anything, no matter how microscopic, from one place to another with a snap of my fingers, and the power to change the color or pattern of absolutely anything already existing. My limits: I have to be able to see or very explicitly envision the from and to locations of the things I'm moving, and in the case of colors, the thing has to already have a color to it. I mean, I can't make air turn purple, but I can change the color of the carpet or a tshirt or a wall. And in both cases, I can't create and delete anything. I can only change/move them.

These would come in extremely handy in the case of our house. See, I'd move all the dog pee and dust and dirt and ick molecules from the floor/couch/walls/sink etc into the toilet, then flush it. And I'd hang up all our clothes and put away all our stuff exactly where it belonged. And THEN! because our carpet would be at least clean (though still missing small chunks because I can't CREATE molecules, only move existing ones... although maybe I could patch it with my moving powers... hmm... something to think about tonight...) I could change the color of it, the walls, our couches and everything else to create a comfortable, asthetically pleasing, paradise of a home. I could even do things like buy a nice frame with a crummy picture in it from DI and then snap and voila! masterpiece on our wall!

I feel these two, simple, unassuming super powers would make my life so much easier. And see, they'd be small and insignificant enough that theoretically speaking, I'd never be hauled in by the CIA to see how they could use me to control the world. I'd just get to live my life almost the same way I am now, but it would be cleaner and cuter! Who could ask for more?

Next time: When super powers just aren't enough; planning out my 3 wishes in such detail that there would be absolutely no negative loopholes (a la The Monkey's Paw).

Week in Review

This week I:

Cut my bangs and hair much much too short

Felt utterly hopeless

Overcame my hopelessness without meaning to or trying

Decided against writing a 25 things list despite my many tags

Saw Australia (the movie) and missed the place of the same name miserably

Loved my roommates

Adored Cade and Gheybin's new place in Salt Lake

Played with no less than four puppies

Modeled at UVU

Had my car towed while modeling at UVU

Started two crocheted beanies and tossed one of them

Listened to a lot of Broken Social Scene and 808's and Heartbreaks

Decided to live

And talked on the phone to some of my very best friends

some things

I have gray hairs and I'm only 21.

Every time I go into a Wal Mart my legs get sluggish and I feel depressed. As I venture further into the store, my cortisol levels sky rocket and I begin to hyperventilate.

Each morning I hope with my heart that Anders Loves Maria will be updated. It's been a bit scattered lately.

Tonight I found out Avery's personality type just happens to be my soul mate. It all makes sense now.

I just want to go back to Australia all day every day. That or curl up in my bed never to be seen again. Australia really does sound so much nicer though...

With the new semester starting, I'm deeply envious of my friends who are in school. I need to get back to learning and thinking and doing.

I see photos everywhere, but I never have the guts to take them.

Some days I love everyone. But most days I hate them all.

1. 2. I have a definite speech pattern.

I am in desperate need of sleep.

Odds and Ends

I check the Provo Craigslist Missed Connections every week or so on the off chance someone has written something about me.

My favorite albums of 2008 were For Emma, Forever Ago (Bon Iver); Lust, Lust, Lust (The Raveonettes); Starfucker (Starfucker); Some Are Lakes (Land of Talk); Oracular Spectacular (MGMT); and Devotion (Beach House).

I'm not living up to my potential.

I secretly enjoyed Happy Sumo more than I should have. It's not even real sushi. It's (delicious) overpriced Americanized fish, seaweed and rice.

I found this website fascinating and very helpful in my new quest to overcome depression and anxiety.

I love Toby even though he's a jerkface.

That is all.

After Christmas

Well, Merry Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Festivus everyone. It's late, I know, but I've been busy/tired.

How the kings and queens celebrated a full 12 days of Christmas, I will never know. We celebrated for roughly 5 days. By the 4th, fatigue had set in. Each of us took a 4-6 hour nap Saturday and fell asleep relatively early... wait... no... 3am doesn't count as early does it? Well... we slept anyway. And today just the idea of working makes my eyes close on their own.

But I have to say, tiring or no, this Christmas season was better than I expected. I'd never spent a Christmas away from my family before - and admittedly I was a little teary eyed and homesick Christmas morning - but all in all I feel like Christmas was full of cheer and joy and livers now a little worse for wear. This nerdy group I call my friends has grown on me quite a bit over the course of the past three months. I love them like family. Playing Wii with the Moores was like being around my own siblings, with the added bonus of cussing. And Ray and Nicole took care of those of us who are vegetarians. The veggie sausage was delicious. Ray's stories were very good. I'll treasure that piece of paper for a long time yet. Cade STILL needs to come play Clue with us so we can open that Scotch, but I'm just glad he came and liked his ship in a bottle kit. This holiday was truly a success. I seriously wish Olivia could have been there, but at least she'll be home soon!

My Christmas gifts this year were spot on. My favorite gift from John-Ross was definitely the Michael Jackson music videos. Klaus Kinsky the gold fish is pretty awesome too though, I must say. My dad's family sent me TimTams and some other junk food (they know me too well). I'm still waiting for our fussy mailman to bring the package my mom sent.

I'm excited for New Years' Eve. We're going to two dance parties I think. Mainly I'm excited for 2008 to be over already. It's been a seriously tumultuous year. Far from what I expected. Hopefully 2009 will be better. Or a little calmer at least.