Things that make me sad

Well, sad/frustrated.

The scratches in my new wood floors that took Adam 4 days to install.

The ink splotches, scratches and stains on my darling dining room table and chairs that took me forever to pick out and that I lovingly put together. They were probably my favorite pieces of furniture and now they're all scuffed and damaged and covered in food particles to boot because let's face it: people don't take care of things that aren't theirs.

Not actually having any time to be home and enjoy the house I've put so much work and love into.

Not having enough money to eat healthily. I've been living off of whatever Adam has around and Cup Noodles.

Not having time to watch much by way of movies. I've been in the mood for either Miyazaki or Fellini. Rather peculiar cravings, admittedly, but it is what it is.

So that's my little whine fest for the moment. Sorry. Annoying, I'm sure. Just having a bit of a hard time lately.

On the bright side, I'm really enjoying work. I've put a lot into getting dispense organized and recognizing and pointing out some of the places we're leaking money, so to speak. I really care about this school and I want it to succeed because I want to succeed.

I'm also doing well in school. I'm on my April grid despite it being only February. And I'm learning more and more about color every day. Which I love!

I'm also going to try to start an exercise program next month with some girls from school. This technically means less sleep and less time at home, but I feel like it'll give me some much needed energy. And hopefully it'll help me stop feeling so grumpy and mad at people.

I've lost about 25 lbs since starting school and I'm hoping more exercise will help me drop some more. Goal? To need an entirely new wardrobe by the time I'm finished with school because nothing fits. I'm getting close now, really. But I'm going to have to keep wearing what I have until I have some money for things like that again.

Anyway, if you're still reading, thanks for caring. I just needed a little vent session. These are definitely (annoyingly I'm sure) getting more frequent as I get more overwhelmed. But with a little exercise and some more time settling into my crazy schedule, I'm hoping my mood will improve.

A Room of One's Own

I don't know what it means to be a grown up. Actually, I'm not sure anyone does, really. But I'll tell you what makes me feel like an adult today:

Owning all of my own furniture. I don't know why, but I was sitting outside having a cigarette (yes, I smoke on occasion) by myself, and I looked over at the two chairs I bought about four months ago that haven't got felt on the bottoms yet so as not to scratch up the wood floors we just installed, and I realized I own a house full of furniture. I have three sofas (one couch and the love seat are a set even), two chairs that match the living room furniture, a dining room table with four matching chairs, a loft bed with a full sized mattress, and a queen bed to go under it. I own a dresser and two bookshelves. Mops, two brooms, a microwave and a few miscellaneous decorations. I have books that line one bookshelf and movies on another. A television. A computer and the rest of the usual electronic items. It's a pretty nice feeling.

I know I have a long way before I'm anywhere near fully self reliant. But having painted the walls of my house and finally gotten rid of disgustingly pet stained carpets, I have to say, I feel really good about my living situation and the way my life is going.

I have a lot of school to finish, and I can't say I have much money, but I'm headed in a career direction that will support me and probably a family if I end up with one. I have a lot of wonderful friends who look out for me and whom I look out for. A boyfriend who's wonderful and supportive and gets me. And is even willing to spend three days laying wood flooring. Starting next week I'll have a job that lines up with my future plans. And all in all, life is good and getting better. Well done, life. Thank you.

I promise to put up pics soon of the house as it is now. It looks so much better. We still have a small amount of work to do, but compared to how it was even just four months ago, it's pretty near finished.

On Decorating

So, Elisa and I have been talking a lot about decorating the house. Our landlord is very chill, happy to let us change the flooring and walls to our delight. We're putting in the cheapest fake wood floor we can find at Ikea and then covering it up with area rugs. That's pretty much decided. But what I've been going back and forth on for ages is the color scheme I want. And I think I've finally - FINALLY - decided.

To begin, I'm using this photo to sort of focus my palette. I love bright colors. Especially these shades of bright colors.
















With that photo in mind, I've chosen this as the color for my walls. I haven't decided on a trim yet, though I'm considering a darker shade or a brown, but I really love this color. I've wanted to paint something this colors probably my entire adult life. Why it wasn't the first thing I thought of is actually rather surprising.

Magically, well... ok... not magically, because this is the exact reason I started thinking about these colors together... I've found a beautiful pink couch for only $150. I love it so much! I'm shocked it hasn't been scooped up already by hipster kids in the Salt Lake area. See what I mean?

And to top it off, there are two other couches on ksl that miiiight go perfectly. I want to check them out first because it says they're rocker loveseats?? And I'm not a fan of tippy stuff generally. I'll probably never in my life own a swivel recliner (one because they're cheesy and gross, and two because, well, see above). But the fabric on these couches are perfect. And the colors fit right in with my overall scheme.

If forced to choose, I'd much prefer the orange couch, but our living room is definitely large enough for all three to fit. If I think they match well enough at least.


As for lighting, Greg Nichols gave me the best idea ever! Our ceiling lights are 1) way way way too high to change (the ceiling is about 12-13 feet high) and 2) not very good at lighting the living room. We of course have the option of floor lamps. Which have worked ok in the past. But I find them annoying to move around and not great at filling the whole room with light.

So instead, I want to string bulbs back and forth, hung from the thick trim that sits about 3 feet below the ceiling (I'm too lazy to take a photo or else I'd just show you). It would be something akin to this but strung closer together. We'd do it in the main part of the living room, possibly in the back part as well (by the entry). I'd probably add some floor lamps too, but at least we'd have some light coming from the ceiling. And fun lights at that.

And the dining room. Well. That I'm still working on. I'm not sure if I'll paint the walls the same color throughout or change the color scheme a bit. Elisa and I have talked about possibly doing Japanese or Indian style seating. I've been mulling it over. On the one hand, it means I only need to buy a table, no chairs. And I think it could look very nice. On the other, we have a dog. And I don't like the idea of Sego being so close to the area we eat. If that makes any sense. Fur and everything considered. So that's still up in the air. Mainly it will come down to what I can afford I suppose.

Oh, and art! I'd love to cover the walls as much as possible in art drawn/painted/photographed etc. by our friends. I'm really really excited about that!

And that's all I've got so far. I wanted to write all this down though before I forget about it or lose my vision :) Let me know what you think, if anyone's reading this.

Just some rambling

So our house looks lovely. Well. Clean anyway. Thanks to a lot of help from a lot of people. Next up is wood floors and new paint, but I suspect that'll be waiting until June.

Todays Figure Drawing Session went pretty well. Smaller than I'd hoped, but I think it'll grow as we get the word out. I got some great ideas about where to advertise, so I'm going to work on making a nice, permanent poster and flyers to put out all over Utah County. Wish me luck! 

In other aesthetic news, I've been having Sephora withdrawals lately. Something about the approach of summer, and feeling the need to change makeup styles and processes. I'm in need of some non-irritating, non-sticky, hydrating spf 30-50 sunblock. I'm also in need of some new perfume. And I'm to the butts of my favorite eyeliner. I haven't had money for that kind of thing in what feels like years. 

I'm also craving Aritzia lately. Their stock changes so rapidly that they never put lines up on their website. So going to the store is the only way to get my fix. And unfortunately that would entail going to Washington. Which thing I'd like to do, but am not doing.  

I think its a good thing I've finally made the decision to go to hair school and follow through with it. I think I'm going to feel more at home with all the "hair school girls" than I ever expected. Hopefully. And I'm going to one of the best schools in Utah as far as I'm concerned. 

That's all the babbling about nonsense I've got for today. Till next time, kids.

It's time, can you feel it? I'm making a change.

So, first of all, the way things are falling into place is uncanny. Elisa and I decided to stay in our house despite the odds against us, and so far we've managed to overcome most of them. I've got a meeting with the landlord tomorrow, which will decide things for sure, but I'm not worried. If the furniture, and roommate and basement apartment situations are any indicator, I'm positive it will go well. Particularly with my parents' help.

There have been an inordinate amount of ups and downs these past few weeks. But I have to say, the ups have been astronomical. Life works out. Life is good. I have a lot of wonderful, loving people in my little Provo world and beyond, and the list just keeps growing. I'm so appreciative of them all.

Our house is in a disarray right now, and I'm leaving Sunday for Washington. I won't be back for a month. But I suspect when I do come back, and when we get to work and fix this place up, it's going to feel more like home than any place I've lived since moving, post high school graduation. I'm excited. Incredibly excited.

I'm deliriously tired and deliriously happy. It's bed time and what better way to fall asleep than drifting through the list of my blessings? Thank you, life.

some ranting, some raving

I haven't been updating this as much lately. I was talking to Elisa the other day and I admitted I've stopped writing in here because it stopped being mine a while ago. The fear of who was reading it, the idea of writing to and for other people frightened me and so I began to feel myself unworthy of writing in my own meager little blog.

So, if you don't like it, bugger off. I'm going to try to write more anyway. Because honestly, I need it. I bottle too much up when I don't write regularly.

I'm feeling pretty weird tonight. I think it's stemming from a few things:

1) I hate my job. A lot. So much so that I've started a work day count down until I can go back to school. 98 days left. When I do go back to school, I'm going to have to find a part time job somewhere else, and I'm ok with that. I want to be able to afford school though, so I've got to save up as much money as possible. I've decided to start donating plasma twice a week. It's good money and I'll be helping people (who work for the big bad pharmaceutical companies... but still). I hate needles, so I'm really hoping I can go through with this. It'll pay rent each month if I can.

2) Our house is a mess and it's driving me crazy. I'm not always the neatest person. My family knows this. I can be messy as all get out. But I'm also a germ-o-phobe. This may sound weird, but let me explain. There's a difference between my germs and other people's germs (to me obviously. I don't mean that in a neurotic, "my germs are better than your germs" kind of way). There's a difference between living in my "mess" which is more an assortment of piles that I've strategically placed and know the contents of in depth; and living in someone else's mess, unable to find my other shoe or that tank top I just got last week or the hat I took the tag off this morning. And our carpets are disgusting.

I've called a cleaning company to have them come help us clean deep since none of us seem to know how to really scrub a shower or a kitchen floor or a toilet. And I've called a Chem Dry down here to come clean our carpets right after Christmas. I'm hoping this will make me feel better about where I live. Because as is, it's stressing me out so much that I can barely think about anything else when I'm home, but it's so overwhelming I can't seem to start on it in any direction.

3) I just want to learn to sew but the mess we have everywhere and the fact that I can't bring myself to do anything at home but obsess over how messy it is or watch movies or sleep means I haven't been focusing on it like I'd like to be. I want to get my skills up to at least intermediate so that I can take the intermediate and advanced classes as BYU this Spring and Summer, but if we don't get this place under control and my desk cleaned off and my little craft area set up, I'm not going to be able to get it done. I've started sewing lessons but the past two weeks just haven't worked out and I'm starting to get frustrated with it.

4) I'm not spending nearly enough time reading or finding new music. Two things I love and used to do regularly but these days just don't seem to make time for. It's driving me nuts. Every time I scroll through my Ipod I get annoyed.

So, those are the things bothering me in order of importance. The job thing is 98 work days away from being solved. The clean thing is hopefully 21 regular days away from being solved, or at least taken care of for a little while. The sewing thing will hopefully work itself out once the messiness does. And I'll just have to take more time for reading and music surfing now and then.

Ok.

Problems identified, plans made.

In good news: I like John-Ross. I like my friends. I love my roommates. Elisa's almost convinced me to join 24 hour fitness because they have a pool that's open 24 hours a day (!!!). I love weekends. I love discussing projects with Olivia - we're going to have a booth at a hip craft fair in the spring. I'm off of accutane and glad for it! (just a few more months and I can start getting my eyebrows waxed again. yessssss). I'm nearly done with my year of depression meds then I can go back to being an N instead of an S. Or maybe my full S will come out, who knows. Crappily great and greatly crappy 2008 is nearly finished. And Christmas is almost here!

All very good things.

That's life for now I guess. A little yin, a little yang.

Man Beheads Hitler.... waxwork......

I woke up WAY too early this morning (6:39 to be exact) and got to work at 7:05. Yes I DID get ready in 10 minutes, thank you very much. It's been... slightly redonkulous (I use that non-word regularly these days. I don't know why). One guy didn't show up this morning. Cool. I had the pleasure of rescheduling all his appointments for Monday. We still haven't heard from him. He might be dead in a ditch somewhere for all we know. Awesome.

Every time the phone rings I'm terrified it's going to be Duct Tape Guy. He's schizophrenic and calls about 6 times a week on different lines to ask if we can get Duct Tape out of his carpet. When questioned on how it got there, his answers range from "I don't know" to "someone put it there" to "some people that I don't know came in and put it there... I don't know why." Apparently it's everywhere, and you can't pull on it or get it off the carpet, even when using knives.... Each time he calls it goes back and forth between "But can you get it out? But how much will it cost? But... can you get it out? Well, how much is it going to cost? Hmm... could you get it out though?"

I had a dream a few weeks ago that he was stalking me -- standing outside my doors and windows just waiting for someone in my family to come out so he could get it. When he called the other day, I answered and had to make someone else talk to him because I was so creeped out. My mom spoke to him on Wednesday and he asked if someone could call him Saturday morning to set up an appointment. She promised someone would. Guess who that someone is....

But I am NOT calling. Our tech manager is supposed to, except he's not here. So in the mean time I'm stuck praying every phone call that comes in will be a legit customer or sales call. Anyone but duct tape guy!

Luckily it's been pretty quiet/boring in here this morning (less moments of deep fear struck to the center of my heart as that little red plastic button lights up and the ringing begins). I've been reading random CNN articles and found these gems:

Man Beheads Hitler Waxwork - I'm pretty sure Hitler felt that one! This world is definitely a safer place now.
Faked Tiger Photo Sparks Web Furor - Who knew a poster of a tiger cut out and placed in some bushes could cause such controversy and get so many government officials fired?
$32,000 for Queen Mother's 'Pack the Gin' letter - Hey, the Queen Mother obviously knew how to plan an outing.
University given collection of 78 rpm records - Syracuse Univeristy got 50 tons of old 78s! Effing awesome! I want to venture there just to check out their sound lab, it's second only to the Library of Congress!

So that's my boring day so far. I don't feel like being productive per se, so I'm blogging/reading/dreading duct tape guy instead. I'm seeing Tilly and the Wall tonight, which I'm pretty excited about. And I may see Maria Taylor tomorrow night at Tractor Tavern. We'll see how it goes.

Cheese lovers: I finally tried Brie. And the consensus is..... I LOVE IT! This is literally the first time I have ever said that about a cheese. It was sooo much better than that hammy smoked gouda I tried. I like soft cheeses. I think next on my list is this Stilton I saw that had cranberries in it. It looked pretty delish. I might be coming over to your side. I can't say for sure, but if it gets better from here, then you've definitely won me over. Good lord. I will now have to inform people I'm not only a bottled water connoisseur and a picky vegetarian, but a cheese lover as well. I'm becoming the ultimate food snob.

This is getting lengthy, but I've got another 3 hours here, so Imma keep going (not for 3 hours, just... until I feel done haha).

Last night. 4th of July. I kind of hate big holidays like this because I can't really leave the house unless I want to deal with insane parking lots, crowded stores and bad traffic. So I stayed home and tried to read and ended up sleeping half the day.... crapola.... the phone... duct tape guy? Ah, no. A nice lady in Lacey instead.

Anyway, I got a bit cabin feverish by the end of the day and ended up sorting through my entire book shelf. I came up with a pretty big stack of books to sell. And I've got a stack of books to read and then sell. And a stack I've already read and want to keep. And many stacks of which I haven't read and thus don't know if I will keep. After that, the fireworks began.

Now, living on the lake, we get a pretty awesome show every year. We're practically surrounded by big fireworks. The guy a few houses down even hires a professional to do a half hour show around 10 and our entire cove stops their fireworks to watch. Except us. Because our show freaking rocked. My brother and cousins bought 200 mortars, screwed all the tubes to two boards, and while someone was prepping the right side, someone else was lighting the left, so the fireworks were almost continuous. It was the best show they've put on yet.

And afterward came the annual sparkler bomb. This year was supposedly the biggest they've done to date. It was 6 bricks duct taped (no, not duct tape guy) together, with one sparkler sticking out on the top. The boys had a tough go convincing my parents to let them do it, but eventually they gave in, so long as it was far enough away that no shrapnel would hit surrounding neighbors/boats. They floated it out about 80 ft from our dock and my cousin Devin lit it, then my brother pulled him back with a rope as fast as he could. A few seconds later came the house rattling BOOM and a title wave and pieces of Styrofoam everywhere. It was great! (if not eco-friendly).

So that's that. I think I'm done now haha. I've run out of things to ramble about and bore you with, so I guess this will have to do. I hope everyone had a safer 4th than the people across the lake who had an ambulance at their house for 45 minutes last night. Enjoy this (rainy in Washington) day!

UPDATE: DTG just called. Agh! I only talked to him for a second though and then made one of the technicians here talk to him (since I am not good at being mean/firm hah). But guess what he said? Instead of the usual, Marty grabbed the phone and duct tape guy said "I got it all up!" He called two more times, but realized he was calling the same place and said so, then hung up. Maybe this is the end of duct tape guy's phone calls! I hope so! Yaaaay!

P.S. I am so sorry this is so outrageously long hahaha

Today was a great day

I might look emo, but I promise I was actually having a really good time! haha


Jordan was wake surfing behind the boat


Mom and Brocky were having a grand old time watching Jordan. Brock kept getting really worried when Jordan would fall in


Tod and the rest of us were pretty impressed by the stellar wakeboarder who went by. If only we all had such skillz


I'm so glad it's finally warming up. And I'm very grateful for where we live. I love it so much here!