Things that make me sad

Well, sad/frustrated.

The scratches in my new wood floors that took Adam 4 days to install.

The ink splotches, scratches and stains on my darling dining room table and chairs that took me forever to pick out and that I lovingly put together. They were probably my favorite pieces of furniture and now they're all scuffed and damaged and covered in food particles to boot because let's face it: people don't take care of things that aren't theirs.

Not actually having any time to be home and enjoy the house I've put so much work and love into.

Not having enough money to eat healthily. I've been living off of whatever Adam has around and Cup Noodles.

Not having time to watch much by way of movies. I've been in the mood for either Miyazaki or Fellini. Rather peculiar cravings, admittedly, but it is what it is.

So that's my little whine fest for the moment. Sorry. Annoying, I'm sure. Just having a bit of a hard time lately.

On the bright side, I'm really enjoying work. I've put a lot into getting dispense organized and recognizing and pointing out some of the places we're leaking money, so to speak. I really care about this school and I want it to succeed because I want to succeed.

I'm also doing well in school. I'm on my April grid despite it being only February. And I'm learning more and more about color every day. Which I love!

I'm also going to try to start an exercise program next month with some girls from school. This technically means less sleep and less time at home, but I feel like it'll give me some much needed energy. And hopefully it'll help me stop feeling so grumpy and mad at people.

I've lost about 25 lbs since starting school and I'm hoping more exercise will help me drop some more. Goal? To need an entirely new wardrobe by the time I'm finished with school because nothing fits. I'm getting close now, really. But I'm going to have to keep wearing what I have until I have some money for things like that again.

Anyway, if you're still reading, thanks for caring. I just needed a little vent session. These are definitely (annoyingly I'm sure) getting more frequent as I get more overwhelmed. But with a little exercise and some more time settling into my crazy schedule, I'm hoping my mood will improve.

A Room of One's Own

I don't know what it means to be a grown up. Actually, I'm not sure anyone does, really. But I'll tell you what makes me feel like an adult today:

Owning all of my own furniture. I don't know why, but I was sitting outside having a cigarette (yes, I smoke on occasion) by myself, and I looked over at the two chairs I bought about four months ago that haven't got felt on the bottoms yet so as not to scratch up the wood floors we just installed, and I realized I own a house full of furniture. I have three sofas (one couch and the love seat are a set even), two chairs that match the living room furniture, a dining room table with four matching chairs, a loft bed with a full sized mattress, and a queen bed to go under it. I own a dresser and two bookshelves. Mops, two brooms, a microwave and a few miscellaneous decorations. I have books that line one bookshelf and movies on another. A television. A computer and the rest of the usual electronic items. It's a pretty nice feeling.

I know I have a long way before I'm anywhere near fully self reliant. But having painted the walls of my house and finally gotten rid of disgustingly pet stained carpets, I have to say, I feel really good about my living situation and the way my life is going.

I have a lot of school to finish, and I can't say I have much money, but I'm headed in a career direction that will support me and probably a family if I end up with one. I have a lot of wonderful friends who look out for me and whom I look out for. A boyfriend who's wonderful and supportive and gets me. And is even willing to spend three days laying wood flooring. Starting next week I'll have a job that lines up with my future plans. And all in all, life is good and getting better. Well done, life. Thank you.

I promise to put up pics soon of the house as it is now. It looks so much better. We still have a small amount of work to do, but compared to how it was even just four months ago, it's pretty near finished.