my grandmother(s) are beautiful

My mom posted this photo of my grandma on her wedding day. I can't help but love it. She looks like a young Elizabeth Taylor. I love her smile with her charming little gap, her perfectly arched eyebrows, and I love love love that at my age, she also had very short hair. Her little tiara veil is too adorable. I asked my mom where my grandma's dress ended up. She doesn't know. My great grandma (on the left) made the entire dress by hand, beading and all.

I also love the look on my other great grandma's face (on the right). Maybe that's where I get my sass.

At times I really miss my grandma. She passed away two and a half years ago. Sometimes I think out of everyone in my family, she and I were the most alike. When her eye sight started to fail, I would drive to her house and read to her. We got nearly half way through Vanity Fair before I left for college. She loved books as much as I do. And she had this great sense of humor. I can still picture her face when she'd grin and laugh. In fact, I can even still hear her laugh when I think of it.

I like to think that shortly after this photo was taken, her eyes crinkled a little more and that laugh spilled out a little in joy.

After Christmas

Well, Merry Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Festivus everyone. It's late, I know, but I've been busy/tired.

How the kings and queens celebrated a full 12 days of Christmas, I will never know. We celebrated for roughly 5 days. By the 4th, fatigue had set in. Each of us took a 4-6 hour nap Saturday and fell asleep relatively early... wait... no... 3am doesn't count as early does it? Well... we slept anyway. And today just the idea of working makes my eyes close on their own.

But I have to say, tiring or no, this Christmas season was better than I expected. I'd never spent a Christmas away from my family before - and admittedly I was a little teary eyed and homesick Christmas morning - but all in all I feel like Christmas was full of cheer and joy and livers now a little worse for wear. This nerdy group I call my friends has grown on me quite a bit over the course of the past three months. I love them like family. Playing Wii with the Moores was like being around my own siblings, with the added bonus of cussing. And Ray and Nicole took care of those of us who are vegetarians. The veggie sausage was delicious. Ray's stories were very good. I'll treasure that piece of paper for a long time yet. Cade STILL needs to come play Clue with us so we can open that Scotch, but I'm just glad he came and liked his ship in a bottle kit. This holiday was truly a success. I seriously wish Olivia could have been there, but at least she'll be home soon!

My Christmas gifts this year were spot on. My favorite gift from John-Ross was definitely the Michael Jackson music videos. Klaus Kinsky the gold fish is pretty awesome too though, I must say. My dad's family sent me TimTams and some other junk food (they know me too well). I'm still waiting for our fussy mailman to bring the package my mom sent.

I'm excited for New Years' Eve. We're going to two dance parties I think. Mainly I'm excited for 2008 to be over already. It's been a seriously tumultuous year. Far from what I expected. Hopefully 2009 will be better. Or a little calmer at least.

another death in 2008

My mom's mom, my grandma, passed away tonight.

It's been a tough go. I have mixed feelings. She's the grandma I feel the most like. We have similar personalities, similar struggles in life, similar interests. But I haven't been on the best terms with her the past year - or even few years.

There's so much to say about it, but I don't know what's appropriate, what I should air. And grief makes me tired. As do all negative emotions these days.

I loved my Grandma Anderson. I hope she's at peace now and that she's found what she was looking for at long last.

That is all really. That is all.

Man Beheads Hitler.... waxwork......

I woke up WAY too early this morning (6:39 to be exact) and got to work at 7:05. Yes I DID get ready in 10 minutes, thank you very much. It's been... slightly redonkulous (I use that non-word regularly these days. I don't know why). One guy didn't show up this morning. Cool. I had the pleasure of rescheduling all his appointments for Monday. We still haven't heard from him. He might be dead in a ditch somewhere for all we know. Awesome.

Every time the phone rings I'm terrified it's going to be Duct Tape Guy. He's schizophrenic and calls about 6 times a week on different lines to ask if we can get Duct Tape out of his carpet. When questioned on how it got there, his answers range from "I don't know" to "someone put it there" to "some people that I don't know came in and put it there... I don't know why." Apparently it's everywhere, and you can't pull on it or get it off the carpet, even when using knives.... Each time he calls it goes back and forth between "But can you get it out? But how much will it cost? But... can you get it out? Well, how much is it going to cost? Hmm... could you get it out though?"

I had a dream a few weeks ago that he was stalking me -- standing outside my doors and windows just waiting for someone in my family to come out so he could get it. When he called the other day, I answered and had to make someone else talk to him because I was so creeped out. My mom spoke to him on Wednesday and he asked if someone could call him Saturday morning to set up an appointment. She promised someone would. Guess who that someone is....

But I am NOT calling. Our tech manager is supposed to, except he's not here. So in the mean time I'm stuck praying every phone call that comes in will be a legit customer or sales call. Anyone but duct tape guy!

Luckily it's been pretty quiet/boring in here this morning (less moments of deep fear struck to the center of my heart as that little red plastic button lights up and the ringing begins). I've been reading random CNN articles and found these gems:

Man Beheads Hitler Waxwork - I'm pretty sure Hitler felt that one! This world is definitely a safer place now.
Faked Tiger Photo Sparks Web Furor - Who knew a poster of a tiger cut out and placed in some bushes could cause such controversy and get so many government officials fired?
$32,000 for Queen Mother's 'Pack the Gin' letter - Hey, the Queen Mother obviously knew how to plan an outing.
University given collection of 78 rpm records - Syracuse Univeristy got 50 tons of old 78s! Effing awesome! I want to venture there just to check out their sound lab, it's second only to the Library of Congress!

So that's my boring day so far. I don't feel like being productive per se, so I'm blogging/reading/dreading duct tape guy instead. I'm seeing Tilly and the Wall tonight, which I'm pretty excited about. And I may see Maria Taylor tomorrow night at Tractor Tavern. We'll see how it goes.

Cheese lovers: I finally tried Brie. And the consensus is..... I LOVE IT! This is literally the first time I have ever said that about a cheese. It was sooo much better than that hammy smoked gouda I tried. I like soft cheeses. I think next on my list is this Stilton I saw that had cranberries in it. It looked pretty delish. I might be coming over to your side. I can't say for sure, but if it gets better from here, then you've definitely won me over. Good lord. I will now have to inform people I'm not only a bottled water connoisseur and a picky vegetarian, but a cheese lover as well. I'm becoming the ultimate food snob.

This is getting lengthy, but I've got another 3 hours here, so Imma keep going (not for 3 hours, just... until I feel done haha).

Last night. 4th of July. I kind of hate big holidays like this because I can't really leave the house unless I want to deal with insane parking lots, crowded stores and bad traffic. So I stayed home and tried to read and ended up sleeping half the day.... crapola.... the phone... duct tape guy? Ah, no. A nice lady in Lacey instead.

Anyway, I got a bit cabin feverish by the end of the day and ended up sorting through my entire book shelf. I came up with a pretty big stack of books to sell. And I've got a stack of books to read and then sell. And a stack I've already read and want to keep. And many stacks of which I haven't read and thus don't know if I will keep. After that, the fireworks began.

Now, living on the lake, we get a pretty awesome show every year. We're practically surrounded by big fireworks. The guy a few houses down even hires a professional to do a half hour show around 10 and our entire cove stops their fireworks to watch. Except us. Because our show freaking rocked. My brother and cousins bought 200 mortars, screwed all the tubes to two boards, and while someone was prepping the right side, someone else was lighting the left, so the fireworks were almost continuous. It was the best show they've put on yet.

And afterward came the annual sparkler bomb. This year was supposedly the biggest they've done to date. It was 6 bricks duct taped (no, not duct tape guy) together, with one sparkler sticking out on the top. The boys had a tough go convincing my parents to let them do it, but eventually they gave in, so long as it was far enough away that no shrapnel would hit surrounding neighbors/boats. They floated it out about 80 ft from our dock and my cousin Devin lit it, then my brother pulled him back with a rope as fast as he could. A few seconds later came the house rattling BOOM and a title wave and pieces of Styrofoam everywhere. It was great! (if not eco-friendly).

So that's that. I think I'm done now haha. I've run out of things to ramble about and bore you with, so I guess this will have to do. I hope everyone had a safer 4th than the people across the lake who had an ambulance at their house for 45 minutes last night. Enjoy this (rainy in Washington) day!

UPDATE: DTG just called. Agh! I only talked to him for a second though and then made one of the technicians here talk to him (since I am not good at being mean/firm hah). But guess what he said? Instead of the usual, Marty grabbed the phone and duct tape guy said "I got it all up!" He called two more times, but realized he was calling the same place and said so, then hung up. Maybe this is the end of duct tape guy's phone calls! I hope so! Yaaaay!

P.S. I am so sorry this is so outrageously long hahaha

Today was a great day

I might look emo, but I promise I was actually having a really good time! haha


Jordan was wake surfing behind the boat


Mom and Brocky were having a grand old time watching Jordan. Brock kept getting really worried when Jordan would fall in


Tod and the rest of us were pretty impressed by the stellar wakeboarder who went by. If only we all had such skillz


I'm so glad it's finally warming up. And I'm very grateful for where we live. I love it so much here!

There's a blue ribbon at the end of the line

I had this whole rant about WalMart typed out, but realized that's not at all what I care about or even want to talk about.

Tonight I went to my Dad's to celebrate my sister's 5th birthday. For one thing, this makes me feel a little old. But the thing that really caught me off guard was that I fully remember my 5th birthday and it was probably one of my favorites. It was right before my dad remarried Kina, but she and I had already spent time together. In fact before my birthday, I spent the night at her apartment in Seattle and we stayed up late into the night giggling about everything. It was kind of a magical night for me.

Anyway, my 5th birthday. I was with my dad at my grandma's and we were getting in the car. My dad and grandma made me dress up so I was gruuuumpy (I was not a girly girl when I was little). He told me we were going to my mom's to pick up some extra church clothes for the next day. When we got there, I threw a fit and did not want to get out of the car. I'm not even really sure why. But he finally persuaded me, and as we walked in the door, my whole family was there and there were streamers and a banner that said "Happy Birthday" and everyone yelled "SURPRISE!" And I'm pretty sure I tried to keep the scowl on my face but couldn't help it and ended up in a big grin. It was lovely.

And now I'm 21 and my sister is that same age I was, and it's odd to think back and look at all the things that have happened in between. The people I've known, the experiences I've had, the places I've been, the things I've seen. It's very strange indeed. We only have one life don't we? There's no "second childhood" or redo's for all the mistakes we make in our teens and twenties. We're here. We're now. In ways it's sad, but in other ways it's kind of brilliant.

You've got to believe in treasure to find it

Jordan and I watched King of California tonight. I loved it. It's bittersweet and charming in a completely quirky kind of way.

I've been a little depressed today. Saturdays do this to me. I don't actually like weekends, to be completely honest with you. I prefer routine over wandering aimlessly. I only knitted a few inches today and then felt the fever of being indoors, so I went shopping and bought nothing. I always feel better when I do this than when I actually buy something.

Well, no, that isn't always true. I like buying things, but they have to be things I've been wanting for a long time and I have to feel that I have enough money for it. Lately I feel like I don't really have enough money for anything (not what The Secret has taught me, I know. Think less, get less. Think more, get more. I know, I know). In any case, because I've been feeling that way lately, when I go shopping and walk out with nothing, I actually feel a lot better than if I'd wasted my money on something I only kind of wanted.

After the mall was a quick visit to my grandma. I love her so much. I think I get my sense of people from her. When we're in a group and my grandma is reacting to things, she seems a little distant and perhaps baffled. Maybe even a little senile. But when she recounts things later, she's very spot on. It reminds me of how I get quiet in groups and rarely contribute but prefer to passively watch what's happening instead of participating actively. It's not that I'm not paying attention, it's the opposite. And it's made my sense of people a bit more keen. I hope this means I will one day be as great a woman as my lovely grandmother is.

Today is Brocky's birthday. He is two.

I think no one reads this anymore. But what do I know? And really it's for me anyway. I guess I just can't help but wonder.

I started a new knit project today. I really needed something to do and crochet squares, while nice, are not exactly challenging. Well, neither is my new project, but at least it will be something I can use when I'm finished with it. And it's going super fast. It's an orange garter stitched messenger bag. I really love the yarn I'm using too. It's very soft.

We went to a Mexican restaurant tonight for Brock's birthday. He loooves his chips and dip. Guacamole is his favorite. I ordered two cheese enchiladas and I forgot to say no beans, only rice. I don't normally like refried beans anyway, I think they're kind of gross, but now I think they're doubly gross because they've got lard in them. Very few places use anything else. So I ate the one enchilada that wasn't touching the beans haha. I brought the other one home. I'm going to try to suck it up and just eat it, but seriously, I've become a bit of a freak about this. I really really hate eating anything that has animal in it. I never ever thought I would be this way. Maybe after a few weeks I'll calm down, I don't know. But right now it's a little bit of a pain hah.

I think I'll get back to knitting now. Or sleeping. One of the two.

Increased daylight and increased craziness

Sam is doing alright. I stayed the night at my Dad's since they didn't get home until about 2:30. Poor Sammy had to get 8 stitches in his finger. Best case scenario is that all the nerve endings will be fine because he's so young and the tip of his finger wasn't completely severed. Worst case is that they'll have to amputate the tip. But we're all praying and hoping for the best. He's been such a little trooper.

It was adorable to see my other siblings rallying together. At about 10 my dad called from the children's hospital and Jed, Ben, Zach and I talked to Sammy on speaker phone. There were lots of "We love you Sammy! We miss you!" and we got a "I wuv you too" back. Zach left a heart card and a drawing he'd made for Sam on the kitchen table for when they came home. I have some of the cutest brothers and sisters. Seriously.

As for today, it's been... weird. The weather alternated between torrential downpours and breaks of sunlight as I made the 45 minute drive to work from my dad's. There was a pretty bad accident on the freeway I was on. But I'll admit it didn't seem to be nearly as bad as this accident that's all over the news. What kind of mother gets so drunk she passes out in the passenger's seat and makes her 14 year old intoxicated daughter drive home? Terrifying!

At work things are crazy. I think my parents may be letting go our self proclaimed "Office Manager." Finally. I love Shonna to pieces. I really do. She's sweet and motherly and very kind. But she is just way too scattered when it comes to office work. And it's been driving us all crazy! So we'll see what happens. My parents are a lot of talk when it comes to firing, but maybe they'll be a little gutsy this time round.

That being said, I'll probably end up with quite a bit more responsibility. Which I'm ok with. And I've been thinking about volunteering to open. Simply because if I have to be there at 7, I'll do it. And I'll be diligent. And I'll get off work early hah.

Oh, and we did get that little girl. We're calling her Abigail (Abby for short). I have no idea if it's going to be permanent or not. I'm going to let my parents make that call. I'm trying to be unbiased. She's a bit shy right now, but I think she'll warm up. Hopefully there won't be too much sibling rivalry between her and Brock since they're so close in age and, for all intents and purposes, Brock's been an only child for the past two years.

Life is hectic. But summer is coming. Which makes it all that much more manageable. I can't wait for warm weather.

The oldest of 9...10...11...

My second youngest brother, Sam, is in the UW Medical Center emergency room with smashed fingers. The last I heard was that he was going into surgery. So please, keep him in your prayers.

I'm at my dad's watching my brothers and sister while my dad and Kina are at the hospital. Oddly enough, by the time I get home either tonight or tomorrow, I'll probably have another little sister at home.

My mom and Tod are foster parents, and before Christmas we got two sweet little girls to watch for a few days. The aunt who has been taking care of them since then has decided she can't be the kind of mother she'd like to be for the youngest girl, so we're taking her back. She's a sweetheart. She's a couple months apart in age from Brock, so it'll be a bit like having twins. And chances are we'll get to adopt her. Nevaeh, the older of the two, will most likely be around a lot as well since we'll want to keep them close as sisters, so it's a bit like gaining two new sisters really. I'm excited. I love kids. And I really love being a big sister.

Anyway, time to make sure homework is done and watch High School Musical 2 hah

Fo-tah-graf-ee

Well, the crocheting has begun! My Relief Society is doing a service project where we knit or crochet 9"x 7" squares that will be sewn into blankets for "Warming up America" or something like that. So my mom taught me tonight how to crochet. I'm pretty excited. I think I'll do an afghan after we've got enough squares done. I'm surprised at how easy it is! I got this swatch done in about two hours (I started off very slow). I'm quite enjoying myself!

It has thankfully warmed up a bit here. But sadly that is at the expense of the sun. It was very rainy today. I could barely see to the other side of the lake. I kind of loved it though hah.

Someone recently told a story about giving their young child (or maybe their parents had given them as a young child) a camera. Mentioning how neat it is to see what children take pictures of and what things look like from their perspective.

So when Brock wanted to play with my camera the other night, I decided to just let him do it. At first he just liked that pushing the button made the flash go, but he soon figured out that if he pointed it at something, a picture of that thing would show up on the screen in the back. Then he figured out that if he went up to something and pointed the camera at that thing, then pressed the button, the thing he wanted to take the picture of would show up on the back of the camera. Hah!

I left the room for a few minutes and came back in and he was walking up to the curtains and taking pics, to the tv, to the lamps.

Kids are just so smart. I mean he's not even 2 and he's figured out how to take pictures. He even tried to take pictures of my mom, of Tod, he got a couple of me. I love watching children learn and grow, it's just an amazing thing! Being an older sister is really fun sometimes!

Frozen things

Poor Brocky is not happy. I'm babysitting tonight. We brushed his teeth, said prayers and when I put him to bed, he went right down. Then as I closed the door I realized I'd forgotten to turn his fan on, so I ran back in to turn it on and of course that upset him. After about ten minutes of crying I realized I'd also forgotten to put his footy pajamas on over his regular ones. Sigh. So I went back in just as he was settling down finally and put those on so he wouldn't freeze to death all night. He cried a bit more but thankfully he's settled down now. It makes me so sad when they cry like that.

Today was... cold. Very cold. When I got to work the office was that temperature that makes your skin hurt it's so cold. It's been very sunny, which I absolutely love, but the lack of cloud coverage also means it hovers right around freezing all day. I had my little space heater on, which for the most part kept my legs warm as long as they were in it's direct path, but my fingers were burning cold all day (you Utah people know what I mean). I had to take breaks from typing to thaw them out under the desk.

I've been getting the most random application invitations on Facebook today. Earlier it was "What Disney Princess are you?" and then "What Disney song best describes you?" and now it's "What Beatles song best describes your life right now?" I haven't subscribed to any of them, so I sadly can't definitively say what princess, Disney song or Beatles song I am at the moment. I know you were waiting on pins and needles to find out, so I'm sorry to disappoint. Maybe next time.

Also in the vein of random questions, when editing my blogspot profile, there's an option at the bottom of the page that says "give me a new question." If I check the selection box, then press save, it gives me a new random question. One of my most recent ones was "You can punch a hole in an apple with a straw. How do you suppose that makes your milkshake feel?" All I can think of in answer is, "taken advantage of."

What's your answer?