photographic ordinary people are everywhere

i can't stop listening to the age of adz. i've cried multiple times in my many listenings over the past three days. i think "i want to be well" and "futile devices" may very well be perfect.

oh my

how lovely

When Music Happened to Me

I didn't exactly grow up on "good" music. More like top 40 and disco. Coming into my own - musically - wasn't easy. I had nothing to go off of. No wiser older siblings or free spirited parents to guide me. At 3 my favorite artist was MJ. The Way You Make Me Feel was my first favorite song; the first video I recorded and watched over and over and over. So what happened? How did I veer so far left? How did I swim up river and escape into increasingly distant tributaries?

Before I begin, it's important to point out that from 3 years old on up, I FELT music. It was a physical experience. When a song connected, it was akin to a full body high. I don't know how else to explain it. From my earliest memories, it's been an obsession. When all I had at my disposal was the radio, I'd wait on pins and needles for that one song to play that made everything else disappear for 3 minutes and 30 seconds. That one melody that made each day worth living just to experience one more time. I'd become euphoric. I needed everything and everyone to stop so I could enjoy those few moments of pure elation. It was physical, spiritual, emotional. Anything but rational.

Now, the album I see as being the keystone in my revelation and movement from popular to anything-but is Bringing Down the Horse. It's the first CD I remember buying on my own with whatever birthday or Christmas money I had. I was only 10 or 11 at the time, and no one else I knew liked them. I know for certain no one convinced me to do it. It had nothing to do with needing acceptance from other people. It was one of the first purely independent choices I remember making. I mean, they were on the radio, but everyone else I knew was more interested in whatever Kube 93 (Seattle's token rap/hip hop station) was playing.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I was deeply intrigued by rap and hip hop both, but having parents who were religiously conservative, I wasn't exactly allowed to listen to any of it, let alone buy it, thus limiting any possible venturings into the genre. So the Wallflowers were my first dip into untested waters. And I must say, it went quite well.

From there I moved on to The Goo Goo Dolls, then Cake. Cake was my first concert. Well, the first one I count anyway. The first one I had tickets to. I was 14. Awkward. Unsure about life. And not really finding any satisfaction in the top 40. I still spent a lot of time listening to the radio. Every evening from 3:45 to 10:30 was spent in my room with the radio blaring. But it just became less and less "spiritual," if you will. Few things on the radio felt like what I was finding elsewhere.

So with my musical passion craving new avenues, at 15 I found myself trying out "fringe" musicians sneakily (alt rock mostly). I had no idea at the time what Napster was, but an uncle of mine did. So I'd put together a list of songs I wanted to try out, (think Foo Fighters and Ash) and he'd burn a CD for me. None of my friends knew. I was too unsure of myself to risk being labeled "uncool." And in my school, the only people who were "cool" were people who had all the words to the latest single memorized.

From a secret love of alt rock, I eventually moved into what I discovered was labeled "Indie Music." It took me a long time to find a term that fit my evolving tastes. The enlightenment fell into my lap unexpectedly. I'd turned the TV on to some shitty version of MTV called FUSE. They were playing music videos (something the real MTV stopped doing somewhere in the late 90's when it discovered reality TV), and without meaning to, I'd somehow stumbled upon a collection of videos that magically all fit my taste perfectly. I sat, enthralled, memorizing each band name as it came up in the bottom corner. The Strokes, Campfire Girls, Queens of the Stone Age, The White Stripes, etc., etc.

To my consternation, the collection suddenly ended. But thankfully, there, on the screen, was the title for the group of videos they'd been showing. "INDIE." I stared. I connected. And without knowing the implications, right then and there, I labeled myself an Indie Girl. From that moment on, a voracious search for more of what I liked ensued.

The next year a good friend burned a copy of The Photo Album by Death Cab for Cutie for me.

My life as it is now, unbeknownst to me, took it's first huge shift onto it's current path one year later when a good friend burned a copy of Death Cab for Cutie's The Photo Album for me. I took that album to England and listened to it one night in a hotel room in Leeds. After that first listen, I listened to it every morning and every night I was in England. And then every day thereafter. It changed how I felt about the world. Later that year Transatlanticism came out. The same friend played it in my car. I rather rudely asked if I could borrow his brand new CD to burn a copy (because I didn't know at the time where to buy it. Tt wasn't at the corporate music stores yet). He reluctantly agreed, and I had one of the most beautiful afternoons and evenings of my life.

Somehow finding Death Cab is what finally convinced me to let go of the radio. I stopped caring about anything mainstream. I immersed myself in an entirely new culture. Indie became my religion. Death Cab, my bible. The fans were my people. I joined the message boards and found a group of outsiders just like myself. People who got it. Who understood the music. Who felt a physical connection to it. I hadn't known anyone else like that before. And I hadn't listened to anything that described my life so fully before. It fit like a soundtrack.

As each of the bands I loved became mainstream, I moved on to more and more obscure artists. And these days, the music I love most is weird and unlike anything that can be heard on a radio station. I'm an "Indie Elite." A snob. I despise hipsters and the vapidity that has taken over my generation. I grope for music that still tries for meaning both in melody and lyric.

And yet, I find that euphoric connection to albums, artists and songs less and less as time goes by. The things I feel love for are few and far between. I don't get excited like I used to. And it's made me feel a little empty. I don't spend hours lying in bed or on the floor or between headphones listening to the one or two bands of the moment that make me feel alive and so excited I can barely breathe. I haven't decided if this is due to a lack of time, a lack of depression or a lack of being alone. But whatever it is, I miss those full body highs. I miss music happening to me the way it used to. Who am I if I'm not obsessing over the new and the next meaningful musical experience of my life? I sure as hell don't know. Because from 3 to 20, it's all I had.

Strings and Ink

So little by little Adam has been moving some of his belongings in. Tonight he asked if he could move his music equipment in. I gave a resounding yes. I love hearing him play and I feel so much better when he feels good. I've been worried about starting work this week because I'll be gone 13 hours a day Tues-Thurs, which means not a lot of time for Adam and I other than sleep time. But I'm a lot less stressed about it now that he's moved all his music equipment in. I feel less like I'll be ditching him during the day and more like he'll have his own things to do here. That and the more furniture we add to the house, the less echo-ey it is.... hah. I didn't think about that aspect of wood flooring when I bought it...

Now that I'm less stressed about being gone so much, I'm kind of excited to start work. It'll be nice to have a steady paycheck again (it's been over six months excluding modeling! Eesh!). And I'll be gaining "salon experience" of a sort. Tonight I'm considering taking a permanent makeup class. And maybe in a few months trying to get a job at a salon doing permanent makeup. I think I'd really like that.

Also, on the topic of permanent makeup, aka tattooing... I think I've finally decided I want this tattoo. I wanted something that represented a departure from the norm, or at least my norm. I considered an empty birdcage with a small bird somewhere on my body, and perhaps I will put a small empty birdcage somewhere, I haven't decided that yet. But I love the tattoo in that picture, including the placement. I think that's exactly where I want it. If not on my right shoulder, then on my left (closer to my heart). When I graduate school I'll probably get a pair of cutting shears somewhere, but I haven't figured out where yet. I think the birds tattoo miiiight be my Christmas present to myself. We shall see. In the meantime, I'm pretty excited to finally have figured out what I want.

some loves

Please, right now, download and listen to Down on Love by Sarah Blasko (or stream it on youtube from that link right back there). It's the opening track on her newest album, As Day Follows Night. It's precious and poignant, and I've been listening to it on repeat for about three days now.

Also, I wanted to share this etsy store: verabel.etsy.com. It's darling. Boys, this is the place to buy jewelry for that special hipster/indie girl in your life. Really. I want the Cutting Necklace and the Bird's Nest Necklace so very very much.

ginger ale cough drops make my sick life ok

Mariee Sioux
Marissa Nadler
Diane Cluck
Vashti Bunyan

A yes and a yes and a yes.

Music in headphones is so much better. I'd forgotten.

Tomorrow:
Clean off my bed so I have a full bed to sleep on, not just half of one
Listen to loads of music
Sort laundry
Color in my coloring book
Read a bit from A Room With A View. Just because.
Finish something or other

I'll love you on your birthday, I'll love you better than them.

Alright. So. I slept from 2 to 7 this afternoon/evening. Ridiculous. And my real problem is that it's now 11:46 and I'd rather be sleeping than sitting up alone in my house, but I'm just not tired.

I've been on another kick of listening to all female artists. Laura Veirs, St. Vincent, El Perro Del Mar, The Bird and the Bee, Inara George, The Blow, Eisley, Psapp (mostly female), etc.

I also have to admit, I fiiiinally got around to listening to She & Him. And I wasn't all that impressed. I guess I was hoping for something closer to M. Ward. I like Zooey's voice I guess, it just... wasn't my cup of tea. Maybe I'll change my mind. I don't know.

The new Bird and the Bee album, Ray Guns Are Not Just the Future, however, is lovely! I've had songs from the album stuck in my head every day for a week (today was mainly Diamond Dave). Love Letter to Japan reminds me a lot of a Spice Girls song. But mellower. And thus, I love it. I liked Polite Dance Song on the ep, and hearing it on the album hasn't lessened my love. There's a good chance I'll get tired of the poppiness of this album just like I did on Inara's past albums, but for now, I'm happy obsessing.

Week in Review

This week I:

Cut my bangs and hair much much too short

Felt utterly hopeless

Overcame my hopelessness without meaning to or trying

Decided against writing a 25 things list despite my many tags

Saw Australia (the movie) and missed the place of the same name miserably

Loved my roommates

Adored Cade and Gheybin's new place in Salt Lake

Played with no less than four puppies

Modeled at UVU

Had my car towed while modeling at UVU

Started two crocheted beanies and tossed one of them

Listened to a lot of Broken Social Scene and 808's and Heartbreaks

Decided to live

And talked on the phone to some of my very best friends

Odds and Ends

I check the Provo Craigslist Missed Connections every week or so on the off chance someone has written something about me.

My favorite albums of 2008 were For Emma, Forever Ago (Bon Iver); Lust, Lust, Lust (The Raveonettes); Starfucker (Starfucker); Some Are Lakes (Land of Talk); Oracular Spectacular (MGMT); and Devotion (Beach House).

I'm not living up to my potential.

I secretly enjoyed Happy Sumo more than I should have. It's not even real sushi. It's (delicious) overpriced Americanized fish, seaweed and rice.

I found this website fascinating and very helpful in my new quest to overcome depression and anxiety.

I love Toby even though he's a jerkface.

That is all.

Quick Update!

1) I moved to Utah almost two weeks ago now
2) Provo is wonderful
3) Sego rocked my socks, particularly Pierrot Le Fou, The Eden Express and Return to Sender.
4) I love my roommates (two of whom are also vegetarian)
5) I love our two dogs Toby (a Dachshund) and Sego (a cute little German Shepherd-Pincer mix)
6) My friends are fantastic and take good care of me
7) Both Sigur Ros and Why? put on amazing shows. Why? is particularly fun to dance to
8) I finally got a job and it pays $15/hr and is at least full time, if not more. Imma be rollin' in't!
9) MY LOFT BED IS FREAKING AWESOME!
10) I need a new phone (I'm thinking about a Blackberry once I get some paychecks coming in)
11) I do miss some peeps from home
12) But I've met some really wonderful people since moving back
13) I'm happy here. Things aren't perfect, but that's life. And I'm ok with it. I'm where I'm supposed to be. And things are looking up, though admittedly I've got to get this anxiety of mine under control.
14) I'm an ISFP. Look it up. It'll probably explain oodles and oodles about me.

And with that, I love you, I'm sorry I never update. Be well my lovely friends.

places I'd rather be

I think about the last frame in this webcomic almost daily. I find it heartwarming and full of hope.

I'm not really in my usual chipper state these days. I rotate between anxiety, anger and depression. I am not in San Diego. And I'm missing a few key people greatly.

The bright spot in my life is that I'm moving in less than two weeks to Utah. I leave the 20th and should arrive the afternoon of the 21st if my dad drives with me. If he doesn't I'll make the trip in one shot. This wasn't part of my original plan but current life necessitates it. And at least I'll be there in time for Sego.

Sigh. I just have to make it through the next two weeks then hopefully things will start looking up again.

Keeping my hands and head busy

This IS a shopping and crafting blog. Boys, if you want to stop here, I won't blame you.

It's been an interesting week. This weekend came as a relief. Particularly given my parents decided it was a "vacation" Sunday. Which gave me a few hours extra time to start and finish my new sewing project:

It's a yoga bag. (more photos here). It only took me about two hours to finish (which means I'm getting much faster), and despite being a "level 2" I found it quite easy to put together. I also learned a few new things about Isabella in the meantime.

There is in fact a yoga mat inside it. And both the mat and it's cover will be getting quite a bit of use from me!

Tarin and I are starting Yoga classes tomorrow. We found a little studio about fifteen minutes form work that has the best introductory rate I've ever heard of. We'll be getting unlimited drop in classes for two months, which is perfect since it lines up with when I'm planning to leave for Utah. We're starting out with the Beginner's level since its been a while since I really got into it and Tarin's only done Pilates before. But we want to move up to the Intermediate class asap. I'm also going to look into the Yin Yoga class, which is deeper joint stretching.

Given how excited we both are, we decided to trek up to Bellesquare yesterday and go to Lululemon, a yoga gear and clothing store. We each only got a new mat but I tried on some of their clothes and holy cats I wanted them all! They fit like a dream and are soooo comfy.

While we were at the mall we, of course, stopped in Sephora (where I took Tarin's Sephora virginity. She said it was a special moment and was so glad to have shared it with me haha). I got some Stila blush for the fall that basically looks like NARS Orgasm blush but without the sparkles. I love it! We also went into Lush, where I did indeed buy some of the Buffy scrub (I converted Tarin too). I tried the Buffy out today. oooooh myyyyy wooooord. Worth every penny. My skin feels healthy and smooth and moisturized. Best purchase of yesterday, by far.

Oh! And! This will show my truly shallow fashion crazed side, but whatever. If you haven't noticed my worldiness yet, you've been missing a huge portion of this blog :P

I dragged Tarin into Aritzia, and as I was looking at this adorable grey, blue and peach colored dress that of course was sold out in every size except XS, Tarin came over to tell me about a cardigan she was in love with. What was shocking though, was that it was $455.00. Yes. That is correct. $455.00. For a cardigan. I didn't believe her at first because while Aritzia is a bit spendy, its definitely NOT $455 cardigan expensive. Or so I thought.

So we went to check it out. And it really was adorable. I mean drool over it, wear it every day for the rest of my life cute. And it really was $455, which left my jaw hanging for sure. Just then the sales girl walked by and said something about it being a Chloé. And I looked up and sure enough, there was a sign. Chloé. All around us, Chloé dresses, jackets, blouses, sweaters. I ran my hand over the Ikat silk dress that I've seen in countless magazines and tried not to pee my pants. I was touching a Chloé dress hahaha

I don't know if shopping gets any geekier than that. But it sure is fun!

And in closing I'll leave you with some wise words from one Jona Bechtolt (Y.A.C.H.T.) "We want all that stuff, all that stuff that cost's too much. We feel sad and such, are we owned by our own stuff?"

Questionable Content

Ok, we are going to completely ignore any of the things that have happened in the real world the past few days and stick to the intar-webz. Because, ugh, I don't even want to think about it.

Thanks to my lovely friend Dane, I am officially 100% obsessed with Questionable Content. 1027 comic strips and 3 days later, I'm trying to force myself to slow down. Because eventually (cough tonight cough) I'm going to get to that point where I actually have to wait a day for every new strip. And I don't even know how I'm going to handle that (or not being able to just skim the guest strips and get back to the main story line).

The thing is, I relate to these characters. I mean reading this is like reading someone else's take on my life. Just, everyone is scarily better looking. But the conversations and the interests and snobbery! oh the snobbery! It's just so me and my friends.

I just got to the point when Steve and Meena are having the "what happened with your last boyfriend" conversation and it was astonishingly similar to my (somewhat) recent history. That overwhelming feeling of just not living up. Knowing if it doesn't end, you're going to make a really stupid decision just to get out of it. And all because the other person is simply too perfect.

How can I relate to drawings this much?? I don't even know!

Also reading Persepolis. My first foray into the graphic novel genre. It's wonderful so far. Our matching freckle is what first intrigued me (see the top right side of the bridge of my nose - no, it is not mascara), but after further investigation, I realized it was a worthy read for other reasons as well. I'm learning a lot about Iran in the process and I'm hoping once my French skillzorz are up to par, I'll be able to read it in it's original language.

Oh, and I guess I'll throw in two small tidbits about real life: 1) Neumo's need some freaking air conditioners! and 2) I've never seen Conor Oberst so happy in all my life (and all 4 times I've seen him) than he was on Wednesday. It was pure magic. I thought I'd eaten some rainbow slices and unicorns hairs and hallucinated it all. But no, I think it really happened. Conor Oberst was ACTUALLY SMILING. A LOT. Weird, I know! And yet strangely glorious.

Alright, I think I've taken a long enough break from QC. Time to finish this bad boy UP! (also, I just really want to see Faye get together with Sven already. I mean we could see that one coming from a mile (and two years) away!)

Devotion

Friends, I'm back with the random shopping links and Project Runway blogs. Beware!

Last night was the season premier of cycle 5 of Project Runway. Mmmmm. Don't try to contact me on Wednesday nights between 9 and 10, because chances are, I won't be available.

I haven't decided who I'm rooting for yet. It's a little soon to tell. I was surprised the garbage bag dress didn't go home last night. I felt it was less innovative, though also less frightening, than the shower curtain rain coat. And generally the judges prefer something a little more outrageous over pure blaaaaah.

It was good to see Austin back from season 1 as a guest judge though. I have such a crush on his lisp. Adorable!

So my latest shopping obsession: Lush. I have been lusting after the Buffy Body Butter and the Honey Waffle Soap. I've decided I'm allowed to buy neither of these until I finish my online Book of Mormon class (which I've been dreading but severely need to get out of the way if I'm going to go back to BYU in the winter). I tried the Buffy at the Lush store at Bellesquare and it's wonderful! Got bumpy skin? This'll take care of it straightaway. And it moisturizes AS it exfoliates. Incroyable! And most of their products are vegan. Yay!

Oh and new favorite thing from Sephora: Givenchy Phenomen'eyes Mascara. I really want to try this. The applicator looks perfect for those hard to reach inner lashes.

Seattle/Tacoma salon goers: anyone know a good place for eyebrow threading? I can't wax until I'm off Accutane, but apparently eyebrow threading is allowed. These caterpillars are getting a little out of control, so if you know of anywhere nearby that isn't completely sketch, I'd greatly appreciate it!

Lastly, Beach House. Why didn't I know about this before? Where have I been? Sigh, sometimes I'm so behind. Anyway, thoroughly enjoying both albums.

Man Beheads Hitler.... waxwork......

I woke up WAY too early this morning (6:39 to be exact) and got to work at 7:05. Yes I DID get ready in 10 minutes, thank you very much. It's been... slightly redonkulous (I use that non-word regularly these days. I don't know why). One guy didn't show up this morning. Cool. I had the pleasure of rescheduling all his appointments for Monday. We still haven't heard from him. He might be dead in a ditch somewhere for all we know. Awesome.

Every time the phone rings I'm terrified it's going to be Duct Tape Guy. He's schizophrenic and calls about 6 times a week on different lines to ask if we can get Duct Tape out of his carpet. When questioned on how it got there, his answers range from "I don't know" to "someone put it there" to "some people that I don't know came in and put it there... I don't know why." Apparently it's everywhere, and you can't pull on it or get it off the carpet, even when using knives.... Each time he calls it goes back and forth between "But can you get it out? But how much will it cost? But... can you get it out? Well, how much is it going to cost? Hmm... could you get it out though?"

I had a dream a few weeks ago that he was stalking me -- standing outside my doors and windows just waiting for someone in my family to come out so he could get it. When he called the other day, I answered and had to make someone else talk to him because I was so creeped out. My mom spoke to him on Wednesday and he asked if someone could call him Saturday morning to set up an appointment. She promised someone would. Guess who that someone is....

But I am NOT calling. Our tech manager is supposed to, except he's not here. So in the mean time I'm stuck praying every phone call that comes in will be a legit customer or sales call. Anyone but duct tape guy!

Luckily it's been pretty quiet/boring in here this morning (less moments of deep fear struck to the center of my heart as that little red plastic button lights up and the ringing begins). I've been reading random CNN articles and found these gems:

Man Beheads Hitler Waxwork - I'm pretty sure Hitler felt that one! This world is definitely a safer place now.
Faked Tiger Photo Sparks Web Furor - Who knew a poster of a tiger cut out and placed in some bushes could cause such controversy and get so many government officials fired?
$32,000 for Queen Mother's 'Pack the Gin' letter - Hey, the Queen Mother obviously knew how to plan an outing.
University given collection of 78 rpm records - Syracuse Univeristy got 50 tons of old 78s! Effing awesome! I want to venture there just to check out their sound lab, it's second only to the Library of Congress!

So that's my boring day so far. I don't feel like being productive per se, so I'm blogging/reading/dreading duct tape guy instead. I'm seeing Tilly and the Wall tonight, which I'm pretty excited about. And I may see Maria Taylor tomorrow night at Tractor Tavern. We'll see how it goes.

Cheese lovers: I finally tried Brie. And the consensus is..... I LOVE IT! This is literally the first time I have ever said that about a cheese. It was sooo much better than that hammy smoked gouda I tried. I like soft cheeses. I think next on my list is this Stilton I saw that had cranberries in it. It looked pretty delish. I might be coming over to your side. I can't say for sure, but if it gets better from here, then you've definitely won me over. Good lord. I will now have to inform people I'm not only a bottled water connoisseur and a picky vegetarian, but a cheese lover as well. I'm becoming the ultimate food snob.

This is getting lengthy, but I've got another 3 hours here, so Imma keep going (not for 3 hours, just... until I feel done haha).

Last night. 4th of July. I kind of hate big holidays like this because I can't really leave the house unless I want to deal with insane parking lots, crowded stores and bad traffic. So I stayed home and tried to read and ended up sleeping half the day.... crapola.... the phone... duct tape guy? Ah, no. A nice lady in Lacey instead.

Anyway, I got a bit cabin feverish by the end of the day and ended up sorting through my entire book shelf. I came up with a pretty big stack of books to sell. And I've got a stack of books to read and then sell. And a stack I've already read and want to keep. And many stacks of which I haven't read and thus don't know if I will keep. After that, the fireworks began.

Now, living on the lake, we get a pretty awesome show every year. We're practically surrounded by big fireworks. The guy a few houses down even hires a professional to do a half hour show around 10 and our entire cove stops their fireworks to watch. Except us. Because our show freaking rocked. My brother and cousins bought 200 mortars, screwed all the tubes to two boards, and while someone was prepping the right side, someone else was lighting the left, so the fireworks were almost continuous. It was the best show they've put on yet.

And afterward came the annual sparkler bomb. This year was supposedly the biggest they've done to date. It was 6 bricks duct taped (no, not duct tape guy) together, with one sparkler sticking out on the top. The boys had a tough go convincing my parents to let them do it, but eventually they gave in, so long as it was far enough away that no shrapnel would hit surrounding neighbors/boats. They floated it out about 80 ft from our dock and my cousin Devin lit it, then my brother pulled him back with a rope as fast as he could. A few seconds later came the house rattling BOOM and a title wave and pieces of Styrofoam everywhere. It was great! (if not eco-friendly).

So that's that. I think I'm done now haha. I've run out of things to ramble about and bore you with, so I guess this will have to do. I hope everyone had a safer 4th than the people across the lake who had an ambulance at their house for 45 minutes last night. Enjoy this (rainy in Washington) day!

UPDATE: DTG just called. Agh! I only talked to him for a second though and then made one of the technicians here talk to him (since I am not good at being mean/firm hah). But guess what he said? Instead of the usual, Marty grabbed the phone and duct tape guy said "I got it all up!" He called two more times, but realized he was calling the same place and said so, then hung up. Maybe this is the end of duct tape guy's phone calls! I hope so! Yaaaay!

P.S. I am so sorry this is so outrageously long hahaha

But a weekend in Provo won't fix what's wrong with us

I have no idea why I've felt more like posting on here lately. It just seems like a thing to do. (also, for those of you not in the know, my title is a Mountain Goats lyric which, ironically, an Australian friend of mine, who has never been to Provo, told me about.)

I love Laura Veirs these days. My affair with her music started out slow and has steadily grown from mild attraction to can't-get-enough-so-google-the-lyrics-and-sing-along-at-all-times obsession. It's lovely.

In other news, I'm getting really excited for Utah. Both for my trip down there next week and to be moving back down in January. I love the ideas behind the Sego Arts Center and the new Pennyroyal Cafe (which promises lots of organic and vegan/vegetarian foods. YAY!) I fully intend to get as involved as possible with both when I'm actually in the same state.

Not to mention I'm really looking forward to living with Celia when I move. She's so great! It's going to be so much fun!

And I bought a small lime green suitcase with red and green apples on it from WalMart yesterday to take with me when I leave next week.

What I'm getting at is that LIFE IS GOOD! I'm excited!

A Comprehensive Review of Death Cab for Cutie’s Narrow Stairs

Overall, this album has a phenomenal flow about it. The transitions work together, it even has the feel of the musical version of a narrative arc. Rather than slowing down and getting boring near the end like a lot of major releases are wont to do, it seems to build, climax, and eventually resolve. It’s only slight dips or weak moments seem to be somewhere between Cath… and You Can Do Better Than Me. Specifically, Talking Bird. It’s alright, but that’s it. Just alright.

The lyrics to Talking Bird are about on par with the rest of the album though, in that they’re much easier to understand than past albums. I find this a little disappointing. One of the thrills of listening to past Death Cab albums was interpreting the sometimes enigmatic lyrics. The lyrics in Narrow Stairs are generally straightforward and easily interpreted. This takes a little of the sparkle off this album for me. Luckily, what it lacks in deeper meaning, it seems to make up for in melody (though this statement generally excludes Talking Bird, as the melody is, as I said before, just alright).

Starting the album with Bixby Canyon Bridge was a great way to grab attention. It pulled me in almost instantaneously and brought on that euphoria Death Cab has provided for me upon first listen in the past. Grinning ear to ear, I played it out. My initial reactions to the end of this song were mixed. The fuzzy distortion seemed a little clichéd and trite at first. I read that they were really shooting for a shoegazer feel on this album, and this felt like a cop out to make that true since the only other truly shoegazer/post-rock feeling song is I Will Possess Your Heart. However, the end has grown on me over time. It could be that I’m just used to it now, but I think mostly it’s because clichéd or not, it fits just right between these first two tracks.

The instrumental lead into I Will Possess Your Heart is perhaps the most vivid and well-done “shoegazer” aspect of this album. It is well varied and the swelling layers are perfect. Nick Harmer’s bass line keeps movement and time while the sparse piano chords, reverberating guitar strums, and Ben’s background vocals add fullness. The song builds and builds almost to the breaking point, and then suddenly there’s Ben’s soft yet intense voice as the music drops out - all I can do is grin and wait for my goosebumps to pass - the timing, tone and feel are in perfect sync. The lyrics might be the crooner of a rejected stalker, but that certainly doesn’t detract from the lush layering of this beautiful song.

Nick Harmer’s moving bass lines seem to be the driving force in the first half of this album as No Sunlight comes into view. The lyrics to this song are… perhaps a little trite. Who doesn’t lose their optimism as they grow older? This might make this song more relatable to some, but personally I see it as so generic that it’s not worth taking the time to relate to on anything other than a superficial level. So I enjoy the music, dance a little, sing along to the repetitive lyrics, and move on, no worse for wear.

Cath… on the other hand has opposite lyrical issue. Instead of generic, these lyrics are very specific. Generally when Gibbard writes specific lyrics, they’re so specific that a lot of personal interpretation is required to glean some meaning out of the song. That or the background story has to be known. Take, for instance, basically anything off of Something About Airplanes, or, for something more recent, Death of an Interior Decorator off of Transatlanticism. Without background stories, access to meaning within these songs have to come from within. Cath… however, sounds like a quick story about someone like Catherine Zeta Jones or any other starlet marrying someone older and a little skeazy for money. I don’t relate to that. And I don’t think anyone who is marrying for anything other than love, would be listening to the likes of Death Cab. Or if they are, they definitely aren’t connecting to any of their past lyrics or melodies. As for the melody in this song, it does sound something slightly more akin to Photo Album but at the same time it evokes the Get Up Kids circa Guilt Show for me. That doesn’t necessarily make it a bad or even “so-so” song, it’s just a matter of individual preferences. This song sort of goes into the same category as No Sunlight for me; I enjoy it as it passes, because it is a really nice pop song, but it’s not something I skip back to or put on repeat.

We already know how I feel about Talking Bird, so I’ll move onto You Can Do Better Than Me. Now, I’m going to be cliché here and just say it now: I love this song. Probably in the same way everyone and their pet hamsters love I Will Follow You Into The Dark. For me, it hearkens back to the days of Technicolor Girls. It’s wonderfully bitter sweet and the lo-fi organ just works with the big timpani sounding drums and vibrating snare. It’s a purely enjoyable one minute, fifty-nine seconds. The lyrics are again straight forward, but they fit well with the straightforward feel of the instruments.

And so we come to Grapevine Fires. There are a lot of things I love about this song. There is also one glaring thing I, for some inexplicable reason, can’t stand: that it’s about the 2007 California Wild Fires. Perhaps it’s that I heard about them for so long last fall, or maybe it’s that the colors evoked from this song in my mind are automatically ashy and smoke filled, that I find the relation to that event in this song a little annoying. But, that aside, the lyrics to this song are more akin to Transatlanticism. They are specific but there is a deeper meaning there for the individual listener to glean. And the feel of this song is lovely - it’s soft and flowing the way Transatlanticism and the better parts of Plans were. Even with my hang-ups about the wild fires, I can’t help but find this song lovely.

You’re New Twin Sized Bed is… aaah, a breath of fresh air. It’s peppy, lush, flowing, bright, and bitter sweet in the way only Ben Gibbard can pull off. The lyrics are cute and poignant and again, there’s just enough specificity to pull the listener in, yet enough generality to force the listener to relate in their own personal way. It’s classic Death Cab in all the right ways.

Now we have Long Division. There is something about this song that just sucks me in. I listen to You Can Do Better Than Me up through this song on repeat. It’s a perfect little stretch. This is where the album seems to peak, where it’s at it’s best. Long Division is full and poppy and sure, repetitive, but the story behind the lyrics is just thoroughly interesting. I think this is because I love a good look into the why’s of what people do. And this guy was obviously left behind by cheaters in the past, so he decided to stop being the leavee and be the leaver instead. If I were him, I’d probably want to be something other than the person in the triangle who gets left behind as well. But even without understanding the lyrics, Long Division seems like the type of song to be utterly enjoyable to the masses in the same vein as The Sound of Settling. And I’m ok with that.

Making the transition between climax and resolution in this album is Pity and Fear. I find the Indian music in Pity and Fear pretty cliché. As it came on, I felt like I was turning on a Sting album. Or maybe a Britney Spears album. Basically it just felt like they were trying really hard to be “new” and “different” but in a way that’s already been done – by John Lennon, Sting, Britney, almost every teeny bopper, on down. Despite this though, the song isn’t bad. The lyrics sum up the theme of the album – settling for less than we deserve and becoming someone we never thought we’d be – and as the song grows, the Indian beats become less distracting. Simply, it works as the peak and beginning of the downward slope in the album’s narrative arc.

The full resolution comes with The Ice Is Getting Thinner. It’s pretty in ways. It feels overly thoughtful and like another hack at Steadier Footing, Lack of Color or I Will Follow You Into The Dark. It’s shooting for simplicity, but misses and at times hits boring instead. The lyrics are highly relatable and the melody would be good to fall asleep to. If one is looking for depression, this song could fill that need. As a stand-alone song, it’s lackluster. But within the larger picture, works well as a resolution, as a sort of end of one cycle and entrance into the next. With this album on repeat, “Ice” continues the flow back into Bixby Canyon Bridge. In that way, this song is a fitting last track for Narrow Stairs.

I’ve read a few times that Ben wanted to write more straightforward lyrics. If that’s true, he succeeded, but perhaps not to his benefit. One of the biggest charms to Death Cab for Cutie has, for me at least, always been their simple, thoughtful, many-leveled lyrics. Puzzling out the meanings always made the songs more personal to me. The playfulness of words and interesting story lines aren’t quite up to par with their pre-Plans albums, but this album is at least much more enjoyable and less macabre than their last full-length. And I daresay their newly acquired fans will find it more than acceptable. Overall it’s enjoyable, has catchy melodies and flows like the Amazon. I know it’ll be on repeat in my cd player for quite some time.

Of colons and crafts

Sewing: I bought a sewing machine and stocked up tools for a good sewing kit. And I've bought some cute fabric I'm going to make napkins out of. I've got to start somewhere! I'm using Simple Sewing by Lotta Jansdotter as my guide into this wonderful world.

Crocheting: I also found that as cheesy as Vanna White is, her yarn colors by Lion Brand are actually tres tres chic. I bought a size Q crochet hook (i.e. a really huge one) and yarns in light purple and dark purple that I'm using simultaneously to make a small afghan (the blanket, not the person). It's really cute so far. I think I'll embroider some flowers or something on it when it's finished.

Knitting: I finally bought the belt buckle for my orange knit bag. So now I just have to finish sewing on the straps and the buckle, and that stretchy, completely impractical little novelty item will be finished! yay.

Cooking: I bought Veganomicon from the grocery store tonight and have started reading it. I am not a cook by any means. I know very very little about how to put recipes together or even what most ingredients are - I see the names and have no idea what kind of flavor they evoke or even what they look like. But this has a great intro into vegan cooking. The authors go into detail about what each ingredient is, where you're most likely to find it, and sometimes they even suggest specific brands they prefer. I'm not a vegan, but I wouldn't mind trying out vegan recipes at home. Especially since I'm a bit sick of all my regular vegetarian food.

Frenching: I've learned past and present tense. I feel much more complete.

Musicking: Laura Veirs and Bon Iver are my favorites at the moment. Particularly the latter. His minimalist recording is completely offset by lush arrangements of melodies and his almost orchestral use of vocals. Yummy. Honorable mentions for the week are Dosh, Bowerbirds, Tender Forever, Mariee Sioux, and Hanne Hukkelberg. All worth checking out.

Living: Life is good. I'm really tired lately but I'm hoping the vegetarian geared multivitamins I bought today will fix me up in that area. That and if I can just get off my duff and do some Yoga more than once a month, I think I'll be feeling much better.

Updating: That's it for now. Peace!

Joke's on us

Band of Horses is continuing to grow on me. I'm such a butthead sometimes, I swear. I should have gotten into them a long time ago, but I was too stubborn. Sigh. They remind me of The Shins with just a hint of Now It's Overhead mixed in.

Tonight I made tofu stir-fry over lo-mein noodles. It was yummy. Then I did the responsible thing and washed my dishes, did some laundry and finished my French homework. And all with time to spare. I feel like a real grown up. Weird.

And speaking of weird, the office was in some kind of freaky vortex today apparently. Everything broke. The bulbs above my desk started to flicker and flash because they were about to go out, one phone line would crackle or just stay silent when we picked it up, another had a fax tone going through it all afternoon, the database won't work thanks to a corrupt file that made everything below a certain line just disappear, my mom's version of Excel suddenly wouldn't work today and asked for the disc, the security system is wonky and didn't go off or turn off when the tech manager came in this morning, and one of the credit card machines was causing problems.

Then at one point, instead of the usual three to six people we have in the front office at any given time, there were suddenly two security system technicians climbing through our ceiling on ladders, two guys filling out applications at the front counter, a customer asking about getting her couches cleaned, two of our technicians changing the light bulbs above my desk, our tech manager, my mom and of course the three of us who are secretaries. That is twelve people all in one small space frantically trying to answer phones while the door bell rang incessantly from people walking in and out. It was insane. I'm not sure I ever fully recovered.

Apparently April was playing a fool's day joke on us. I don't know what else to call it.

It was just a wonky day all the way around. So I think I'll let it rest and hope for un-wonky dreams and an un-wonky day tomorrow.

Gonna wash my bones in the Atlantic Shore

Ok. I am a stubborn person. I can admit this.

That being said, I have finally - FINALLY - given Band of Horses a fair trial. And... um... I might not actually hate them after all. Well, ok, I guess I never said I hated them, but I wasn't exactly their cheerleader. And I'm not saying they're my favorite band ever, but The General Specific is pretty darn catchy.

On another topic, I'm on my way to being nearly finished with my pumpkin colored knit bag. I've got all but one small piece finished, and once that's done it's just a matter of sewing it up and adding a buckle. I think it's going to be great!

I started French today. It's... going to be interesting. It's the same teacher I had in the fall and the class is mostly full of people who just finished 101 during the winter quarter. So I feel a little disconnected in comparison to the rest of the class. But whatever, I'm going to just stick it out and push my way through to an A. I just want my A.

So that's life for today.

Can I just add that I'm really really happy lately? I mean I have moments where I feel a little down, but overall, life is actually really great. Thank goodness!