some ranting, some raving

I haven't been updating this as much lately. I was talking to Elisa the other day and I admitted I've stopped writing in here because it stopped being mine a while ago. The fear of who was reading it, the idea of writing to and for other people frightened me and so I began to feel myself unworthy of writing in my own meager little blog.

So, if you don't like it, bugger off. I'm going to try to write more anyway. Because honestly, I need it. I bottle too much up when I don't write regularly.

I'm feeling pretty weird tonight. I think it's stemming from a few things:

1) I hate my job. A lot. So much so that I've started a work day count down until I can go back to school. 98 days left. When I do go back to school, I'm going to have to find a part time job somewhere else, and I'm ok with that. I want to be able to afford school though, so I've got to save up as much money as possible. I've decided to start donating plasma twice a week. It's good money and I'll be helping people (who work for the big bad pharmaceutical companies... but still). I hate needles, so I'm really hoping I can go through with this. It'll pay rent each month if I can.

2) Our house is a mess and it's driving me crazy. I'm not always the neatest person. My family knows this. I can be messy as all get out. But I'm also a germ-o-phobe. This may sound weird, but let me explain. There's a difference between my germs and other people's germs (to me obviously. I don't mean that in a neurotic, "my germs are better than your germs" kind of way). There's a difference between living in my "mess" which is more an assortment of piles that I've strategically placed and know the contents of in depth; and living in someone else's mess, unable to find my other shoe or that tank top I just got last week or the hat I took the tag off this morning. And our carpets are disgusting.

I've called a cleaning company to have them come help us clean deep since none of us seem to know how to really scrub a shower or a kitchen floor or a toilet. And I've called a Chem Dry down here to come clean our carpets right after Christmas. I'm hoping this will make me feel better about where I live. Because as is, it's stressing me out so much that I can barely think about anything else when I'm home, but it's so overwhelming I can't seem to start on it in any direction.

3) I just want to learn to sew but the mess we have everywhere and the fact that I can't bring myself to do anything at home but obsess over how messy it is or watch movies or sleep means I haven't been focusing on it like I'd like to be. I want to get my skills up to at least intermediate so that I can take the intermediate and advanced classes as BYU this Spring and Summer, but if we don't get this place under control and my desk cleaned off and my little craft area set up, I'm not going to be able to get it done. I've started sewing lessons but the past two weeks just haven't worked out and I'm starting to get frustrated with it.

4) I'm not spending nearly enough time reading or finding new music. Two things I love and used to do regularly but these days just don't seem to make time for. It's driving me nuts. Every time I scroll through my Ipod I get annoyed.

So, those are the things bothering me in order of importance. The job thing is 98 work days away from being solved. The clean thing is hopefully 21 regular days away from being solved, or at least taken care of for a little while. The sewing thing will hopefully work itself out once the messiness does. And I'll just have to take more time for reading and music surfing now and then.

Ok.

Problems identified, plans made.

In good news: I like John-Ross. I like my friends. I love my roommates. Elisa's almost convinced me to join 24 hour fitness because they have a pool that's open 24 hours a day (!!!). I love weekends. I love discussing projects with Olivia - we're going to have a booth at a hip craft fair in the spring. I'm off of accutane and glad for it! (just a few more months and I can start getting my eyebrows waxed again. yessssss). I'm nearly done with my year of depression meds then I can go back to being an N instead of an S. Or maybe my full S will come out, who knows. Crappily great and greatly crappy 2008 is nearly finished. And Christmas is almost here!

All very good things.

That's life for now I guess. A little yin, a little yang.

Keeping my hands and head busy

This IS a shopping and crafting blog. Boys, if you want to stop here, I won't blame you.

It's been an interesting week. This weekend came as a relief. Particularly given my parents decided it was a "vacation" Sunday. Which gave me a few hours extra time to start and finish my new sewing project:

It's a yoga bag. (more photos here). It only took me about two hours to finish (which means I'm getting much faster), and despite being a "level 2" I found it quite easy to put together. I also learned a few new things about Isabella in the meantime.

There is in fact a yoga mat inside it. And both the mat and it's cover will be getting quite a bit of use from me!

Tarin and I are starting Yoga classes tomorrow. We found a little studio about fifteen minutes form work that has the best introductory rate I've ever heard of. We'll be getting unlimited drop in classes for two months, which is perfect since it lines up with when I'm planning to leave for Utah. We're starting out with the Beginner's level since its been a while since I really got into it and Tarin's only done Pilates before. But we want to move up to the Intermediate class asap. I'm also going to look into the Yin Yoga class, which is deeper joint stretching.

Given how excited we both are, we decided to trek up to Bellesquare yesterday and go to Lululemon, a yoga gear and clothing store. We each only got a new mat but I tried on some of their clothes and holy cats I wanted them all! They fit like a dream and are soooo comfy.

While we were at the mall we, of course, stopped in Sephora (where I took Tarin's Sephora virginity. She said it was a special moment and was so glad to have shared it with me haha). I got some Stila blush for the fall that basically looks like NARS Orgasm blush but without the sparkles. I love it! We also went into Lush, where I did indeed buy some of the Buffy scrub (I converted Tarin too). I tried the Buffy out today. oooooh myyyyy wooooord. Worth every penny. My skin feels healthy and smooth and moisturized. Best purchase of yesterday, by far.

Oh! And! This will show my truly shallow fashion crazed side, but whatever. If you haven't noticed my worldiness yet, you've been missing a huge portion of this blog :P

I dragged Tarin into Aritzia, and as I was looking at this adorable grey, blue and peach colored dress that of course was sold out in every size except XS, Tarin came over to tell me about a cardigan she was in love with. What was shocking though, was that it was $455.00. Yes. That is correct. $455.00. For a cardigan. I didn't believe her at first because while Aritzia is a bit spendy, its definitely NOT $455 cardigan expensive. Or so I thought.

So we went to check it out. And it really was adorable. I mean drool over it, wear it every day for the rest of my life cute. And it really was $455, which left my jaw hanging for sure. Just then the sales girl walked by and said something about it being a Chloé. And I looked up and sure enough, there was a sign. Chloé. All around us, Chloé dresses, jackets, blouses, sweaters. I ran my hand over the Ikat silk dress that I've seen in countless magazines and tried not to pee my pants. I was touching a Chloé dress hahaha

I don't know if shopping gets any geekier than that. But it sure is fun!

And in closing I'll leave you with some wise words from one Jona Bechtolt (Y.A.C.H.T.) "We want all that stuff, all that stuff that cost's too much. We feel sad and such, are we owned by our own stuff?"

Crafty Little Thing

Some of you may remember (or maybe none of you do, either way see here for a reminder) one April day this year when I decided to purchase a cheap sewing machine from the evil empire that is WalMart and make some napkins as my first foray into the sewing world. Well friends, four months later my little project actually happened. This afternoon I decided to unpack my sweet beginning sewing machine (which I've named Isabella), read every single instruction I could until she was usable, and then practice on some scrap fabric.

Four hours later, Isabella and I churned out some fairly nice looking cotton napkins! My first one has some wonky stitching but it didn't take me long to get some at least fairly even looking edges going.

I really really like this hobby. Projects can vary from a few hours to a few days but progress is so fast! I mean one minute you've got yards of fabric and the next you're cutting, ironing and stitching it into something usable. I would definitely like to keep this up.

Also as stated in the post linked above, I was going to finish my orange knit bag. Well, tonight I finally went to put the buckle on and realized it just looked much better without straps or a buckle. So I undid the stitching on the straps to take them off, and left the flap just hanging. I don't know if I'll ever actually use this bag as it's really impractical for anything other than knitting projects. Get anything heavier than a bit of yarn in it and it droops to the floor. Still, it was fun to make given I had to use gigantic knitting needles. Plus I love the color.

And lastly, I did "finish" the purple crochet blanket. I would still like to add some embroidery on it somehow, and I think it needs some edging so it doesn't look so unfinished, but at least for now it's usable (though in this weather who needs it?). The huuuuge crochet hook I got to use on this was so much fun. Progress was fast too because the double yarn made it so thick.

So, I DID manage to finish some projects for once. For a few more pictures, see my crafts photostream on flickr. I'm sure I'll keep uploading pictures of my projects as I complete them.

Gonna wash my bones in the Atlantic Shore

Ok. I am a stubborn person. I can admit this.

That being said, I have finally - FINALLY - given Band of Horses a fair trial. And... um... I might not actually hate them after all. Well, ok, I guess I never said I hated them, but I wasn't exactly their cheerleader. And I'm not saying they're my favorite band ever, but The General Specific is pretty darn catchy.

On another topic, I'm on my way to being nearly finished with my pumpkin colored knit bag. I've got all but one small piece finished, and once that's done it's just a matter of sewing it up and adding a buckle. I think it's going to be great!

I started French today. It's... going to be interesting. It's the same teacher I had in the fall and the class is mostly full of people who just finished 101 during the winter quarter. So I feel a little disconnected in comparison to the rest of the class. But whatever, I'm going to just stick it out and push my way through to an A. I just want my A.

So that's life for today.

Can I just add that I'm really really happy lately? I mean I have moments where I feel a little down, but overall, life is actually really great. Thank goodness!

Healthier rambling

aaagh, work is boring, and I'm going a little bit crazy!

So, I will ramble here.

Firstly, I have decided to learn how to sew. I know how to knit and how to crochet, but it has become more obvious lately that knitting/crocheting things that don't look like something your crotchety old great grandmother would make for a wee-tyke is very hard to come by. Unless you're super talented/have the time to work teeeny tiny knit stitches to make something more akin to fabric. But then you've generally got to sew it anyway.

I've done a little research and I think I'm going to get a Brother sewing machine from WalMart. They're only $70 and supposed to be pretty easy to learn on. I don't want to invest in something really nice until I know I enjoy sewing. I'm pretty excited about this venture though. I've been wanting to learn for years.

Next, I just want you all to know that I am really enjoying being a vegetarian. I am, for once, eating veggies and enjoying them. And I'm discovering my love for other things I'd never really considered before. So it's going well.

I think I want to start doing Pilates. I remembered this week that I did it once at a YW activity from a real Pilates instructor, and I loved it. I think I could barely walk the next day because I was so sore. But I'm ok with that. There's a new studio opening in Auburn, but I don't think it'll be open for group classes until August, so I might have to go up to Kent instead. Or maybe I'll look into Yoga if there are no Pilates classes around here. I loved Yoga back in high school.

Hansel and Gretel meet Soylent Green

I had the weirdest dream last night. It was almost exactly like Hansel and Gretel. Which is weird because I haven't exactly thought about that story in... years?

Anyway, I was wandering through the forest with someone else and we were lost. We came upon a clearing that had very green grass and tall pine trees surrounding it. In the center was a rather large sized, restaurant looking building made entirely out of very bright colored candy. And next to the building were tables, also made out of candy, with strange looking adults sitting at them. The people had oddly large, vacant eyes and they were eating hamburgers. And we knew instinctively that the hamburgers were made from ground up humans.

Somehow we ended up inside the building with a large group of other young people. There were two counselor type people at the front of the candy constructed room with clip boards. Our large group was doing something like calisthenics and the counselors were making sure we were doing everything right. We knew that if we did something wrong, our names would be taken to the big wigs upstairs, and we'd be next in line at the grinding machine, to be made into hamburgers. Needless to say I and my partner pushed the limits of the rules, but despite warnings, our names were never actually taken down and we realized none of us had ever actually seen someone made into hamburger. But we were still afraid. And the food they gave us to eat we knew for sure was made out of humans.

More happened, but that's all I can remember clearly.

How morbid though, eh? Nazi-type cannibalism within Hansel and Gretel. Very strange indeed.

The Age of Innocence is sadly at work, so instead I started Mrs. Dalloway tonight and will have to continue the other on Monday. But I'm enjoying Mrs. Dalloway so far. More than I did the last time I tried to read it actually. I think before I didn't have the focus for it, and Woolf's sentences are so long and complicated at times that between the beginning and end of one, I'd completely forgotten the original topic. This time though I like the sense of fluidity in it. The connectedness and yet the aloneness and the way everyone shares experiences and yet sees them separately, all at the same time. A teacher once said it's almost like it's happening in real-time.

I finished Crimson Skies today, haha. It's not very long. Well, that and I started it half way through because I picked up where I'd left off the last time I played it. This is maybe the second time I have ever finished a video game. Well other than Super Mario Bros maybe. But yeah. Kind of silly.

Also did some crocheting. I'm up to 6.5 plus another half I started and then my mom finished. I figured out today if I do double crochet stitches instead of just single, it actually goes way faster, so I'm going to try doing that from now on.

And in election news, Obama took Washington. Yay! The gap is closing and I have high hopes for him taking Clinton out. That would be good news.

I officially have less than a week until I am in California now. Poor B is sick as a dog this week. I really hope he feels better soon. I guess it's going around down there. No fun.

Well, that's my update. Off to bed. And I hope the human hamburgers are no where in the vicinity of tonight's dreams.

I settled for a telephone and sang into your machine

I just finished Andrew Bird's Armchair Apocrypha on vinyl and now I'm listening to Bright Eyes' Fever and Mirrors from my Bright Eyes box set while I cut out pictures from magazines for my collage collection. Calendar Hung Itself just came on. Love. Love love love.

Listening to Andrew Bird reminded me of when I saw him play at Bumbershoot in September. Probably one of the most magical shows I have ever been to. The sun was down, the stage was set against the Space Needle, all lit up and glorious. The sky was clear and Andrew's whistling was beautiful. I wanted to stay there forever.

I slept more than half of the day today. I'm not sure why. It's possible I'm getting sick, but I really hope that's not the case.

I went to see 27 Dresses tonight with my mom. It was charmingly cliche. Definitely enjoyable.

Well I think I'll get back to magazine clipping or else go back to sleep (not at the same time though, I promise. Scissors and sleeping don't go together).

Crochet squares done: 4.5

Days until California: 14

I think the weirdness is back...

Watch this show. (You can stream each episode from both seasons). I promise, you won't be disappointed. Especially if you've ever been to a high school. Not even necessarily your own high school. Just any high school. The characters are hilarious. In each episode a new "weird" factor hits the town. Such as all the people on public service signs coming to life, or anyone who has a cold aging between 15-50 years every time they cough or sneeze. My favorite episodes are probably Clones, Bubbleheads and Remotes. I have been laughing for hours.

I bought Brandon's birthday present today. I'm mildly obsessed with this website called Threadless. People submit their graphic art to be made into tshirts and members of the website vote on the new designs. If enough people like it, it gets made into a tshirt and sold on Threadless.com. This is the one I bought Brandon. It's called "I'm Sure I Used To fit." I love that they've got the jaws of life out haha

The past few nights Brandon and I have been discussing lucid dreaming. I'm going to try for the next few nights to make myself lucid dream. I'm really hoping to revisit England or Australia. We watched this movie not too long ago called Waking Life. It's all in rotoscope, which is really cool if you've ever seen good rotoscope animation. I learned a lot about lucid dreaming from that movie. It was really interesting. I definitely recommend it.

So to track my crocheting progress, I am happy to note that I figured out what I was doing wrong on my square, which was shrinking in width as it got longer. My mom couldn't remember how to do the ends of each row (such as how many chains each type of stitch needs at the beginning of the next row). But I have got it all down now thanks to a helpful book, and I will be knocking out scads of crocheted squares for Warm Up America in no time at all!

Lastly, my Central Coast Cali, here I come! (Please don't rain on me) countdown is officially at 18 days. Yay! One less than yesterday!

Fo-tah-graf-ee

Well, the crocheting has begun! My Relief Society is doing a service project where we knit or crochet 9"x 7" squares that will be sewn into blankets for "Warming up America" or something like that. So my mom taught me tonight how to crochet. I'm pretty excited. I think I'll do an afghan after we've got enough squares done. I'm surprised at how easy it is! I got this swatch done in about two hours (I started off very slow). I'm quite enjoying myself!

It has thankfully warmed up a bit here. But sadly that is at the expense of the sun. It was very rainy today. I could barely see to the other side of the lake. I kind of loved it though hah.

Someone recently told a story about giving their young child (or maybe their parents had given them as a young child) a camera. Mentioning how neat it is to see what children take pictures of and what things look like from their perspective.

So when Brock wanted to play with my camera the other night, I decided to just let him do it. At first he just liked that pushing the button made the flash go, but he soon figured out that if he pointed it at something, a picture of that thing would show up on the screen in the back. Then he figured out that if he went up to something and pointed the camera at that thing, then pressed the button, the thing he wanted to take the picture of would show up on the back of the camera. Hah!

I left the room for a few minutes and came back in and he was walking up to the curtains and taking pics, to the tv, to the lamps.

Kids are just so smart. I mean he's not even 2 and he's figured out how to take pictures. He even tried to take pictures of my mom, of Tod, he got a couple of me. I love watching children learn and grow, it's just an amazing thing! Being an older sister is really fun sometimes!

Crafty little things

I've been on a bit of a Project Runway binge the past couple days. I go through phases with this show. I'll forget it's started, and suddenly catch a rerun marathon and not be able to stop watching. I'm rooting for Christian. I love his overly-sculpted hair and think he's got the most vision. I'm hoping it comes down to Christian, Jillian and Victorya.

For some reason I've had a thing for Peter Bjorn and John this week. They're wonderfully dancy! I don't think Brandon quite understands my love of poppy music yet. I try to explain it to him, but it's going to take a while to catch on I think. I pretend to be a music snob, but honestly, if it's bright and happy, I'll probably love it! And I mean lyrics don't get much better than "She's stepping on my shoes, and I couldn't want it more. That way I always know she's close." Adorable.

Sooo, when I started this blog, I didn't think anyone was going to read it. I mean that. I put up links to it on my Facebook and Myspace, but honestly, I didn't think anyone paid attention to my profiles on either of those sites. But hey! I'm glad to have you all here! Most of my ramblings are just that: ramblings. So pay no mind if I got off on some crazy random tangent. It's bound to happen. And has. That and I'm going to try to keep writing as if no one will be reading it. It keeps me more honest.

Now then, back to business. I want to make a list of things I'd like to do in the near future. So here they are:

1) Put all Australia pics into tangible photo album with written out stories and everything
2) Learn to crochet and (2b) crochet an afghan
3) Knit something cute and more delicate than the chunky scarves I've made in the past
4) Organize my apartment (my room specifically)

I think I'll go from there. I've been skimming some knitting blogs lately and I just really love the things some of these people make. They're delicate, crafty, original. Basically, I'm inspired. That and Project Runway seriously brings out the craft in me.

I'll try to take pictures of my endeavors. And I think I'll start on that organizing project now as a matter of fact.

So, until tomorrow, adieu!